7mþŸU' +ÿÿÿ! È"Times New Roman$N123L&Heading 1L ð < &Heading 2Lð ð < &Heading 3L .Bullet listO ³•Swissÿÿÿÿh3r h3r ÐР \cefd\cJefRdý‚.ÆAýThe Simpson's Chalkboard openings7G08 None - Christmas Special7G02 I will not waste chalk7G03 I will not skateboard in the halls7G04 I will not burp in class7G05 None7G06 I will not instigate revolution7G09 I will not draw naked ladies in class7G07 I did not see Elvis7G11 None7G10 I will not call my teacher "Hot Cakes"7G13 Garlic gum is not funny7G12 They are laughing at me, not with me7G01 I will not yell "Fire" in a crowded classroom7F03 I will not encourage others to fly I will not fake my way through life7F02 Tar is not a plaything7F04 None - Halloween Special7F01 I will not Xerox my butt7F01 It's potato, not potatoe This was used for the second airing of 7F01 (a reference to Dan Quayle's gaff while visiting a school)7F05 I will not trade pants with others7F08 I am not a 32 year old woman.To put it another way, Nancy Cartwright is not a 10-year-old boy7F07 I will not do that thing with my tongue7F06 I will not drive the principal's car7F09 I will not pledge allegiance to Bart7F10 I will not sell school property7F11 I will not cut corners.It actually looks like this: I WILL NOT CUT CORNERS7F12 I will not get very far with this attitude7F13 I will not make flatuent noises in class7F15 I will not belch the National Anthem7F16 I will not sell land in Florida7F14 Repeat of 7F107F17 I will not grease the monkey bars7F18 I will not hide behind the Fifth Amendment7F19 None7F20 I will not do anything bad ever again7F21 I will not show off (This was written in an "Olde English"-style font)7F22 I will not sleep through my education7F24 I am not a dentist8F01 Spitwads are not free speech7F23 Nobody likes sunburn slappers8F03 High explosives and school don't mix I will not bribe Principal Skinner8F04 I will not squeak chalk (Bart squeaks the chalk while writing this)8F05 I will finish what I sta (This appears on one line; the rest is blank)8F02 None - Halloween Special8F06 "Bart Bucks" are not legal tender8F07 None8F08 Underwear should be worn on the inside8F09 The Christmas Pageant does not stink8F10 I will not torment the emotionally frail8F11 I will not carve gods8F12 None8F14 I will not spank others8F16 None8F13 I will not aim for the head8F15 I will not barf unless I'm sick I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty8F17 I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's lounge8F19 I will not conduct my own fire drills8F20 Funny noises are not funny8F21 I will not spin the turtle8F22 I will not snap bras8F23 I will not fake seizures8F24 This punishment is not boring and pointless8F18 My name is not Dr. Death9F01 I will not defame New Orleans (New Orleans complained about the opening song in "Oh, Streetcar!")9F02 I will not prescribe medication9F04 None - Halloween Special9F03 I will not bury the new kid (During the episode, Marge wrote "I will try to raise a better child")9F05 I will not teach others to fly9F06 I will not bring sheep to class9F07 A burp is not an answer9F08 Teacher is not a leper9F09 Coffee is not for kids (Each line becomes less and less legible; the last line is a scrawl)9F10 I will not eat things for money9F11 I will not yell "She's Dead" during roll call9F12 The principal's toupee is not a Frisbee9F13 I will not call the principal "spud head"9F14 Goldfish don't bounce9F15 Mud is not one of the 4 food groups9F17 No one is interested in my underpants9F16 I will not sell miracle cures9F18 I will return the seeing-eye dog9F20 I do not have diplomatic immunity9F19 I will not charge admission to the bathroom9F21 I will never win an Emmy (This was the first episode after 1992-93 Emmy nominations were announced, the first time the show was eligible for "Best Comedy Series", but it wasn't nominated (the show had won "Best Animated Show" Emmys in the past))9F22 The cafeteria deep fryer is not a toy1F02 None1F01 None1F04 None - Halloween Special1F03 None1F05 None1F06 None1F07 All work and no play makes Bart a dull boy (This was not written "line by line" like the others)1F08 I will not say "Springfield" just to get applause1F09 I am not authorized to fire substitute teachers1F11 My homework was not stolen by a one-armed man (A reference to "The Fugitive")1F10 I will not go near the kindergarten turtle1F12 None1F13 None1F14 I am not delightfully saucy1F15 Organ transplants are best left to the professionals1F16 The Pledge of Allegiance does not end with Hail Satan1F18 I will not celebrate meaningless milestones (This was first used for the 100th new episode)1F19 There are plenty of businesses like show business1F21 I will not re-transmit without the express permission of Major League Baseball1F20 Five days is not too long to wait for a gun1F22 Beans are neither fruit nor musical1F17 Repeat of 9F172F33 I will not use abbrev.2F01 I am not the reincarnation of Sammy Davis Jr.2F02 None2F03 None - Halloween Special2F04 I will not send lard through the mail2F05 I will not dissect things unless instructed2F06 I will not whittle hall passes out of soap2F07 Repeat of 1F112F08 Ralph won't "morph" if you squeeze him hard enough2F09 Adding "just kidding" doesn't make it okay to insult the Principal2F10 "Bagman" is not a legitimate career choice2F11 Cursive writing does not mean what I think it does2F12 Next time it could be me on the scaffolding2F13 I will not hang donuts on my person2F14 I will remember to take my medication2F31 None2F15 I will not strut around like I own the place2F18 The Good Humor man can only be pushed so far2F19 I do not have power of attorney over first graders2F32 Nerve gas is not a toy2F21 I will not mock Mrs. Dumbface2F22 The First Amendment does not cover burping2F16 This is not a clue...or is it? (In this episode, there are clues that are supposed to reveal who shoots Mr. Burns)2F20 I will not complain about the solution when I hear it (In this episode, the shooter (see 2F16) is revealed)2F17 "Bewitched" does not promote Satanism3F01 No one wants to hear from my armpits3F02 I am not a lean mean spitting machine3F03 The boys room is not a water park3F04 None - Halloween Special3F05 Indian burns are not our cultural heritage3F06 None3F08 Wedgies are unhealthy for children and other living things3F31 I will only do this once a year ...which is once a year too many for clip shows3F07 I will stop talking about the twelve inch pianist3F10 I am not certified to remove asbestos3F09 None3F11 None3F12 None3F13 None3F14 None3F16 None3F15 None3F17 None3F18 None3F19 None3F20 None3F21 None3F22 None4F02 None - Halloween Special3F23 I did not learn everything I need to know in kindergarten4F03 I am not my long-lost twin4F05 None4F06 None4F04 None4F01 None (During the episode, Lisa writes "I will not be a snickerpuss." (complete with period))4F07 None3F24 None3G01 The truth is not out there (A reference to "The X-Files")4F08 I am not licensed to do anything4F10 None3G03 I will not hide the teacher's Prozac4F12 None4F11 None4F14 None4F13 None4F15 None4F09 None4F16 A fire drill does not demand a fire4F17 None4F18 None4F19 None4F20 None - Simpsons Spin-Off Showcase4F21 None4F22 None4F23 None3G02 I no longer want my MTV5F02 None - Halloween Special5F01 Everyone is tired of that Richard Gere story5F03 I did not invent Irish dancing5F04 None5F05 I will not tease Fatty5F06 There was no Roman god named "Farticus"5F07 Rudolph's red nose is not alcohol-related5F24 None5F08 None5F23 Shooting paintballs is not an art form5F11 None5F10 Pain is not the cleanser5F12 Silly String is not a nasal spray4F24 None5F13 I was not told to do this3G04 My butt does not deserve a website5F14 I will not demand what I'm worth (A reference to the holdout of the cast for more money)5F15 None5F09 I will not mess with the opening credits (This appeared in place of the couch opening; the rest of the family runs into the classroom)5F16 None5F17 I am not the new Dalai Lama5F18 I was not the inspiration for "Kramer" (This was first shown three days after the last episode of "Seinfeld")5F20 None5F21 I will not file frivolous lawsuits5F22 NoneAABF01 The Simpsons Halloween Special IX (This was painted on the board in blood with a large brush: "bart.com" is not my E-mail address) ðÐð ðÐÖ"( %+ ,*3()…(c-**%90.*%'0 +L+"#*(IL' ,*.  !%43+  1g%h$%a%3-/)+#&'1û+     f75S0  !:;a7T1)3 +108H081)+ 228#0xq+*+'0 @U7+             ?    b  ?& *      )   '   2$ -/  , ' (^ Œ !s ( Š"word.app C‡"‰õ&