7:d:ìÖûùËè :ÿÿÿ! ð"Times New Roman$(Plain Text%! "Courier New$ÿÐЀ€   ‚.ÆAóñ[Use Find (ctrl+F) to search for keywords]@©©A baby is God's opinion that life should go on.©Carl Sandburg©©A bad casting call: Can't act. Can't sing. Balding. Can dance a little.©MGM exec (about Fred Astaire's screen test)©©A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain.©Robert Frost©©A big man is one who makes us feel bigger when we are with him.©John C. Maxwell©©A bore is someone who persists in holding his own views after we have enlightened him with ours.©Anonymous©©A champion views resistance as a gift of energy.©Michael J. Gelb©©A city is a large community where people are lonesome together.©Herbert Prochnow©©A Classic is something that everyone wants to have read but nobody wants to read.©Mark Twain©©A closed mouth gathers no foot.©Anonymous©©A committee is a group of the unwilling, chosen from the unfit, to do the unnecessary. Anonymous©©A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.©Douglas Adams©©A community is like a ship; everyone ought to be prepared to take the helm.©Henrik Ibsen©©A Conservative Government is an organised hypocrisy. ©Benjamin Disraeli©©A country can be judged by the quality of its proverbs.©German Proverb©©A coward is incapable of exhibiting love; it is the prerogative of the brave.©Mahatma Gandhi©©A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing. ©Oscar Wilde©©A day without sunshine is like night.©Anonymous©©A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.©Robert Frost©©A dress makes no sense unless it inspires men to want to take it off you.©Francois Sagan©©A failure is a man who has blundered, but is not able to cash in the experience. Elbert Hubbard©©A feature is a bug with seniority.©Anonymous©©A Frenchman must always be talking, whether or not he knows anything of the matter or not; an Englishman is content to say nothing when he has nothing to say. Samuel Johnson©©A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.©Anonymous©©A friend is a person with whom I may be sincere. Before him, I may think aloud. Ralph Waldo Emerson©©A goalscorer should let fly as soon as he sees the goal. ©Steve Bloomer©©A good leader is a person who takes a little more than his share of the blame and a little less than his share of the credit.©John C. Maxwell©©A good listener is a good talker with a sore throat.©Katharine Whitehorn©©A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while he gets to know something. Wilson Mizner©©A good many dramatic situations begin with screaming.©Jane Fonda ©©A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.©William James©©A hearty laugh gives one a dry cleaning, while a good cry is a wet wash. Puzant Kevork Thomajan©©A high-class horse could not win a race with a feather on his back if he is not in condition. ©George E. Smith©©A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.©Robert Frost©©A law is valuable not because it is law, but because there is right in it. Henry Ward Beecher©©A leader is a dealer in hope.©Napoleon Bonaparte©©A leader takes people where they want to go. A great leader takes people where they don't necessarily want to go but ought to be.©Rosalynn Carter©©A little Government and a little luck are necessary in life; but only a fool trusts either of them.©P.J. O'Rourke©©A little less complaint and whining, and a little more dogged work and manly striving, would do us more credit than a thousand civil rights bills. W.E.B. DuBois©©A little rebellion now and then is a good thing, and as necessary in the political world as storms in the physical. Thomas Jefferson©©A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.©J. Danforth Quayle©©A man generally has two reasons for doing a thing. One that sounds good, and a real one. J.Pierpoint Morgan©©A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he's finished. ©Zsa Zsa Garbor©©A man is known by the books he reads.©Ralph Waldo Emerson©©A man is measured by the size of things that anger him.©Geof Greenleaf©©A man is the sum of his actions, of what he has done, of what he can do, nothing else. Andre Malraux©©A man isn't poor if he can still laugh.©Raymond Hitchcock©©A man must be big enough to admit his mistakes, smart enough to profit from them, and strong enough to correct them. John C. Maxwell©©A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car, but if he has a university education he may steal the whole railroad. Franklin D. Roosevelt©©A man will fight harder for his interests than for his rights.©Napoleon Bonaparte©©A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.©Benjamin Franklin©©A man's best friends are his ten fingers.©Robert Collyer©©A man's feet should be planted in his country, but his eyes should survey the world. George Santayana©©A man's mother is his misfortune, but his wife is his fault. Walter Bagehot©©A metaphor is like a simile.©Anonymous©©A nuclear power plant is infinitely safer than eating, because 300 people choke to death on food every year. Dixy Lee Ray©©A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.©Dwight D. Eisenhower©©A plausible impossibility is always preferable to an unconvincing possibility. ©Aristotle©©A politician is an animal which can sit on a fence and yet keep both ears to the ground.©H. L. Mencken©©A poor life this if, full of care, we have no time to stand and stare. William Henry Davies©©A pound of pluck is worth a ton of luck.©James A. Garfield©©A precedent embalms a principle. ©Benjamin Disraeli©©A religion is a heresy with an adequate army.©Cariadoc©©A rolling stone gathers momentum.©Anonymous©©A sequel is an admission that you've been reduced to imitating yourself.©Donald R. Perry Marquis©©A ship is always referred to as she because it costs so much to keep one in paint and powder. Chester Nimitz©©A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic. Joseph Stalin©©A single fact can spoil a good argument.©Anonymous©©A society grows great when old men plant trees whose shade they know they shall never sit in.©Greek Proverb©©A Stanford research group advertised for participants in a study of obsessive-compulsive disorder. They were looking for therapy clients who had been diagnosed with this disorder. The response was gratifying; they got 3,000 responses about three days afte Anonymous©©A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks that others throw at him.©Sidney Greenberg©©A visionary is one who can find his way by moonlight, and see the dawn before the rest of the world. Oscar Wilde©©A wise and frugal government, which shall restrain men from injuring one another, which shall leave them otherwise free to regulate their own pursuits of industry and improvement, and shall not take from the mouth of labour the bread it has earned. This i Thomas Jefferson©©Abortion is advocated only by persons who have themselves been born.©Ronald Reagan©©Above all things I hope the education of the common people will be attended to, convinced that on their good sense we may rely with the most security for the preservation of a due degree of liberty. Thomas Jefferson©©Absolute liberty is absence of restraint; responsibility is restraint; therefore, the ideally free individual is responsible to himself. Henry Brooks Adams©©Acceptance of what has happened is the first step to overcoming the consequences of any misfortune.©William James©©Accident: A condition in which presence of mind is good, but absence of body is better. Anonymous©©Adam was but human - this explains it all. He did not want the apple for the apple's sake, he wanted it only because it was forbidden. The mistake was in not forbidding the serpent; then he would have eaten the serpent. Mark Twain©©Addresses are given to us to conceal our whereabouts. ©Saki H.H. Munro©©Advice to persons about to marry. Don't. ©Punch©©After you've done a thing the same way for two years, look it over carefully. After five years, look at it with suspicion. And after ten years, throw it away and start all over. Alfred Edward Perlman©©Again and again, the impossible problem is solved when we see that the problem is only a tough decision waiting to be made. Robert Schuller©©Alcohol is a very necessary article....It makes life bearable for millions of people who could not endure it's existence if they were quite sober. ©George Bernard Shaw©©All animals are equal but some animals are more equal than others.©George Orwell©©All colours will agree in the dark. ©Francis Bacon©©All easy problems have already been solved.©Anonymous©©All government, indeed every human benefit and enjoyment, every virtue, and every prudent act, is founded on compromise and barter. Edmund Burke©©All life's answers are on TV.©Homer Simpson©©All mankind loves a lover. ©Ralph Waldo Emerson©©All men are liable to error; and most men are, in many points, by passion or interest, under temptation to it. John Locke©©All men should freely use those seven words which have the power to make any marriage run smoothly: You know dear, you may be right. Anonymous©©All men think all men are mortal but themselves.©Edward Young©©All our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death than animals that know nothing.©Maurice Maeterlinck©©All right, you worthless vermin! No more Mister Nice Pope! Cerebus©©All the things I really like to do are either illegal, immoral or fattening. Alexander Woollcott©©All this buttoning and unbuttoning.©Eighteenth Century suicide note©©All we are saying is give peace a chance.©John Lennon©©All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his.©Oscar Wilde©©All you have to do to protect yourself from radiation is to go down to the bottom of your swimming pool and hold your breath.©David Miller©©Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.©Mark Twain©©Always be a little kinder than necessary.©James M. Barrie©©Always be nice to those younger than you, because they are the ones who will be writing about you. Cyril Connolly©©Always borrow money from a pessimist; they don't expect to be paid back.©Anonymous©©Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.©Mark Twain©©Always do what you are afraid to do.©Ralph Waldo Emerson©©Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours. Yogi Berra©©©Always listen to experts. They'll tell you what can't be done, and why. Then do it. Robert Heilein©©Always question. Always analyse. But in the end, suspend judgement until you've been there. Live it to learn it. Mark McClinchie©©Always try to do things in chronological order; it's less confusing that way.©Anonymous©©America is the only nation in history which miraculously has gone directly from barbarism to degeneration without the usual interval of civilisation.©Georges Clemenceau©©America's abundance was not created by public sacrifices to ˜the common good,' but by the productive genius of free men who pursued their own personal interests and the making of their own private fortunes. Ayn Rand©©Americans have different ways of saying things. They say elevator, we say lift...they say President, we say stupid psychopathic git... Alexi Sayle©©Americans, indeed all freemen, remember that in the final choice, a soldier's pack is not so heavy a burden as a prisoner's chains. Dwight D. Eisenhower©©An aristocracy in a republic is like a chicken whose head has been cut off; it may run about in a lively way, but in fact it is dead. Nancy Mitford©©An armed society is a polite society.©Anonymous©©An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today.©Laurence J. Peter©©An Englishman, even if he is alone, forms an orderly queue of one. George Mikes©©An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made, in a narrow field. Niels Bohr©©An expert is a person who avoids the small errors while sweeping on to the grand fallacy.©Anonymous©©An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less.©Nicholas Murray Butler©©An expert is a person who avoids small error as he sweeps on to the grand fallacy.©Benjamin Stolberg©©An honest politician is one who, when he is bought, will stay bought. Simon Cameron©©An optimist is a guy that has never had much experience.©Donald R. Perry Marquis©©An ounce of emotion is equal to a ton of facts.©John Junor ©©Anarchy may not be the best form of government, but it's better than no government at all. Anonymous©©And computers are getting smarter all the time: scientists tell us that soon they will be able to talk to us. (By they I mean computers: I doubt scientists will ever be able to talk to us.) Dave Barry©©And now the sequence of events in particular order.©Dan Rather©©And, of course, you have the commercials where savvy business people Get Ahead by using their Macintosh computers to create the ultimate American business product: a really sharp-looking report. Dave Barry©©And so, my fellow Americans, ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country. John F. Kennedy©©And when we think we lead, we are most led. Lord Byron©©Any colour - so long as it's black.©Henry Ford©©Any coward can sit in his home and criticise a pilot for flying into a mountain in a fog. But I would rather, by far, die on a mountainside than in bed. What kind of man would live where there is no daring? And is life so dear that we should blame men for Charles Lindbergh Jr.©©Any fool can tell the truth, but it requires a man of some sense to know how to lie well. Samuel Butler©©Any law that takes hold of a man's daily life cannot prevail in a community, unless the vast majority of the community are actively in favour of it. The laws that are the most operative are the laws which protect life. Henry Ward Beecher©©Any party which takes credit for the rain must not be surprised if its opponents blame it for the drought.©Dwight Morrow©©Any shot that scores is a good shot.©Steve Bloomer©©Any technology distinguishable from magic is insufficiently advanced.©Anonymous©©Any time Detroit scores more than 100 points and holds the other team below 100 points, they almost always win. Doug Collins (basketball commentator).©©Anyone can count the seeds in an apple. No one can count the apples in a seed.©Anonymous©©Anyone who can walk to the welfare office can walk to work.©Al Capp©©Anyone who conducts an argument by appealing to authority is not using his intelligence; he is just using his memory.©Leonardo Da Vinci©©Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined.©Samuel Goldwyn©©Anyone who isn't confused really doesn't understand the situation.©Edward R. Murrow©©Anything is good and useful if it's made of chocolate.©Anonymous©©Anything is possible. I have seen Bestie refuse a drink and I've seen Emlyn Hughes buy one.©Alan Ball©©Applying computer technology is simply finding the right wrench to pound in the correct screw.©Anonymous©©Artificial Intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.©Anonymous©©Artificial Intelligence is the study of how to make real computers act like the ones in movies.©Anonymous©©As a general rule, the freedom of any people can be judged by the volume of their laughter. Anonymous©©As a mother, I know that homosexuals cannot biologically reproduce children; therefore, they must recruit our children. Anita Bryant©©As a rule, he or she who has the most information will have the greatest success in life. Disraeli©©As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it. Dick Cavett©©As long as we are lucky we attribute it to our smartness; our bad luck we give the gods credit for.©Josh Billings©©As of 1992, they're called European Economic Community fries. Anonymous©©As you journey through life take a minute every now and then to give a thought for the other fellow. He could be plotting something.©Hagar the Horrible©©Ask a man which way he is going to vote, and he will probably tell you. Ask him, however, why, and vagueness is all. Bernard Levin©©Asking ˜who ought to be the boss' is like asking ˜who ought to be the tenor in the quartet?' Obviously, the man who can sing tenor. Henry Ford©©Assassination is the extreme form of censorship.©George Bernard Shaw©©Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.©George Jean Nathan©©Bad taste is simply saying the truth before it should be said.©Mel Brooks©©Baseball is 90 percent mental and the other half is physical.©Yogi Berra ©©Be content with your lot; one cannot be first in everything.©Aesop©©Be kind to unkind people - they need it the most.©Anonymous©©Be like a duck. Calm on the surface, but always paddling like the dickens underneath. Michael Caine©©Be polite to all, but intimate with few. Thomas Jefferson©©Be smarter than other people, just don't tell them so. H. Jackson Brown, Jr.©©Be wisely worldly, be not worldly wise. Francis Quarles©©Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clear to the bone. Murphys Law©©Beauty without grace is the hook without the bait.©Ralph Waldo Emerson©©Because everyone uses language to talk, everyone thinks he can talk about language. Johann Wolfgang von Goethe©©Because just as good morals, if they are to be maintained, have need of the laws, so the laws, if they are to be observed, have need of good morals. Niccolò Machiavelli©©Before God we are equally wise - and equally foolish.©Albert Einstein©©Before you kill something make sure you have something better to replace it with; something better than political opportunist slamming hate horse shit in the public park.©Charles Bukowski©©Beginning today, treat everyone you meet as if they were going to be dead by midnight. Extend to them all the care, kindness, and understanding you can muster, and do it with no thought of any reward. Your life will never be the same again. Og Mandino©©Being in power is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren't. Margaret Thatcher©©Believe those who are seeking the truth; doubt those who find it.©Andr Gide©©Better an ounce of luck than a pound of gold.©Yiddish Proverb©©Better by far you should forget and smile that you should remember and be sad.©Christina Rossetti©©Better to remain silent and be thought a fool then to speak out and remove all doubt.©Abraham Lincoln©©Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before. Mae West©©Bigamy is having one husband too many. Monogamy is the same.©Anonymous©©Bite the wax tadpole.©Coca-Cola as originally translated into Chinese©©Bobby Knight told me this: ``There is nothing that a good defense cannot beat a better offence.'' In other words a good offence wins.©J. Danforth Quayle ©©Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men. Kin Hubbard©©Brain researchers estimate that your unconscious data base outweighs the conscious on an order exceeding ten million to one. This data base is the source of you hidden, natural genius. In other words, a part of you is much smarter than you are. The wise p Michael J. Gelb©©Brevity is the best recommendation of speech, whether in a senator or an orator. Cicero©©Brevity is the soul of wit.©William Shakespeare©©Bumper sticker: Auntie Em: Hate you, hate Kansas, taking dog. Dorothy. Anonymous©©Bumper sticker: DANGER! I drive like you do.©Anonymous©©Business is like a wheelbarrow. Nothing ever happens until you start pushing.©Anonymous©©But I'm not so think as you drunk I am.©Sir J. C. Squire©©By and large, I seem to have made more mistakes than any others of whom I know, but have learned thereby to make ever swifter acknowledgement of the errors and thereafter immediately set about to deal more effectively with the truths disclosed by the ackn Buckminster Fuller©©By the time you say you're his, Shivering and sighing, And he vows his passion is, Infinite, undying “ Lady, make a note of this: One of you is lying. Dorothy Parker©©By swallowing evil words unsaid, no one has ever harmed his stomach. Sir Winston Churchill©©Call it what you will, incentives are what get people to work harder. Nikita Krushchev©©Can God write a check for a sum so large that he can't cover it? I can. If God can't, what does that say about his omnipotence? Dani Zweig©©Can heresy itself be a legitimate religion?©Nilakantha the Simple©©Censorship, like charity, should begin at home, but unlike charity, it should end there. Clare Boothe Luce©©Champions know that success is inevitable; that there is no such thing as failure, only feedback. They know that the best way to forecast the future is to create it. Michael J. Gelb©©Chance favours the prepared mind.©Louis Pasteur©©Character consists of what you do on the third and fourth tries.©James A. Michener©©Character is doing what's right when nobody's looking.©J.C. Watts©©Character is much easier kept than recovered.©Thomas Paine©©Character is power.©Booker T. Washington©©Checks and balances does not mean writing the checks while ignoring the balances.©Anonymous©©Cheer up! The worst is yet to come!©Philander Chase Johnson©©Children are natural mimics who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners.©Anonymous©©Christ died for our sins. Dare we make his martyrdom meaningless by not committing them?©Jules Feiffer©©Cinema should make you forget you are sitting in a theatre.©Roman Polanski©©Class has a sense of humour. It knows that a good laugh is the best lubricant for oiling the machinery of human relations. Class never makes excuses. It takes its lumps and learns from past mistakes. Class bespeaks an aristocracy unrelated to ancestors or©Ann Landers©©Class is how you treat people who can do nothing for you.©Geof Greenleaf©©Clone, n 1. an exact duplicate, as in our product is a clone of their product. 2. a shoddy, spurious copy, as in their product is a clone of our product. Anonymous©©Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.©Mark Twain©©Cole's Law: Thinly sliced cabbage.©©Anonymous©©College isn't the place to go for ideas.©Hellen Keller©©Comedy is tragedy plus time.©Carol Burnett©©Common sense in an uncommon degree is what the world calls wisdom.©Samuel Coleridge©©Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.©Albert Einstein©©Computer : a million morons working at the speed of light.©David Ferrier©©Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.©Anonymous©©Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don't add up. Anonymous©©Computers will not be perfected until they can compute how much more than the estimate the job will cost.©Anonymous©©Condense soup, not books! Anonymous©©Conditions are never just right. People who delay action until all factors are favourable do nothing.©William Feather©©Confusion is the welcome mat at the door of creativity.©Michael J. Gelb©©Conscience is the inner voice that warns us that someone might be looking.©H. L. Mencken©©Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels so good.©Anonymous©©Conscious is when you are aware of something, and conscience is when you wish you weren't. Anonymous©©Continental people have a sex life; the English have hot-water bottles.©George Mikes©©Conversation is one of the greatest pleasures of life. But it wants leisure.©W. Somerset Maugham©©Copy from one, it's plagiarism; copy from two, it's research. Anonymous©©Courage is fear holding on a minute longer.©General George S. Patton©©Courage is grace under pressure.©Ernest Hemingway©©Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear--not absence of fear. Mark Twain©©Crazy people who are productive are geniuses. Crazy people who are rich are eccentric. Crazy people who are neither productive nor rich are just plain crazy. Geniuses and crazy people are both out in the middle of a deep ocean; geniuses swim, crazy people Michael J. Gelb©©Crime does not pay... as well as politics.©A.E. Newman©©Democracy and socialism have nothing in common but one word, equality. But notice the difference: while democracy seeks equality in liberty, socialism seeks equality in restraint and servitude. Alexis De Tocqueville©©Democracy is a process by which the people are free to choose the man who will get the blame.©Laurance Peter©©Democracy is mob rule, but with income taxes. Anonymous©©Depend on the rabbit's foot if you will, but remember it didn't work for the rabbit. R. E. Shay©©Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice; it is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved. William Jennings Bryan©©Did you ever expect a corporation to have a conscience, when it has no soul to be damned, and no body to be kicked ? Edward Thurlow©©Difference of religion breeds more quarrels than difference of politics.©Wendell Phillips©©Diligence is the mother of good luck.©Benjamin Franklin©©Diplomacy is the art of saying Nice Doggie! till you can find a rock. Wynn Catlin©©Diplomats are just as essential to starting a war as soldiers are for finishing it.... You take diplomacy out of war, and the thing would fall flat in a week. Will Rogers©©Do I not like that ! ©Graham Taylor©©Do not follow where the path may lead....go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.©Anonymous©©Do not quench your inspiration and your imagination; do not become the slave of your model.©Vincent van Gogh©©Do not take life too seriously; you will never get out of it alive.©Elbert Hubbard©©©Do you know what I like about the Irish team ? They are the only team to who come off at the end of the game and ask Who won ?. Spike Milligan©©Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped out a quarter?©Steven Wright©©Do your damnedest in an ostentatious manner all the time.©General George S. Patton©©Dogs come when they are called. Cats have answering machines and may get back to you.©Anonymous©©Doing easily what others find difficult is talent; doing what is impossible for talent is genius.©Henri-Frederic Amiel©©Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.©Ann Landers©©Don't do drugs because if you do drugs you'll go to prison, and drugs are really expensive in prison. John Hardwick©©Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.©Mark Twain ©©Don't have a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent.©Anonymous©©Don't let school interfere with your education.©Mark Twain©©Don't Panic.©The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy©©Dorothy MacMillian: œWhat are you looking forward to now ? Madame de Gualle: œA penis General de Gualle: œMy dear, I think the English don't pronounce the word quite like that. It's not ˜a penis' but ˜appiness'.©©Doubt is not a pleasant condition, but certainty is absurd. Francis M. Voltaire©©Doubt is uncomfortable, certainty is ridiculous. Francis M. Voltaire©©Drama is life with the dull bits cut out.©Alfred Hitchcock©©Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing. Anonymous©©Due to budgetary restraints, the light at the end of the tunnel will be shut off until further notice. Anonymous©©Eagles don't flock - you have to find them one at a time.©H. Ross Perot©©Economics is war pursued by other means.©Raymond F. DeVoe Jr.©©Education is a method whereby one acquires a higher grade of prejudices.©Laurance Peter©©Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.©Will Duran©©Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper or your self confidence.©Robert Frost©©Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.©Nelson Mandela©©Education is what survives when what has been learned has been forgotten.©B. F. Skinner©©Education makes people easy to lead, but difficult to drive; easy to govern, but impossible to enslave. Henry Brougham©©Employ thy time well, if thou meanest to gain leisure. Benjamin Franklin©©England and America are two countries divided by a common language.©George Bernard Shaw©©Eschew obfuscation.©Anonymous©©Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there. Arthur Godfrey©©Every absurdity has a champion to defend it, for error is always talkative. Oliver Goldsmith©©Every great mistake has a half-way moment, a split second when it can be recalled and perhaps remedied. Pearl Buck©©Every man I meet is in some way my superior.©Ralph Waldo Emerson©©Every man is dishonest who lives upon the labour of others, no matter if he occupies a throne. Robert Green Ingersoll©©Every revolutionary idea - in science, politics, art, or whatever - evokes three stages of reaction in a hearer: 1.It is completely impossible - don't waste my time. 2.It is possible, but it is not worth doing. 3. I said it was a good idea all along. Anonymous©©Every time history repeats itself the price goes up.©Anonymous©©Every woman should marry - and no man.©Benjamin Disraeli©©Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die. Joe Louis©©Everyone has his day and some days last longer than others.©Winston Churchill©©Everything is funny as long as it is happening to someone else.©Will Rogers©©Everything that is really great and inspiring is created by the individual who can labour in freedom.©Albert Einstein©©Everything's in the mind. That's where it all starts. Knowing what you want is the first step toward getting it.©Mae West ©©Evil will always triumph, because good is dumb. Rick Moranis©©Examinations are formidable even to the best prepared, for the greatest fool may ask more than the wisest man can answer. Charles Caleb Colton©©Excellence in any department can be attained only by the labour of a lifetime; it is not to be purchased at a lesser price.©Samuel Johnson©©Excess on occasion is exhilarating. It prevents moderation from acquiring the deadening effect of a habit.©W. Somerset Maugham©©Excuses are like assholes, everyone has one, and they all stink. US Marine Proverb©©Expect nothing. Live frugally on surprise.©Alice Walker©©Expecting something for nothing is the most popular form of hope.©Arnold Glasow©©Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting the bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian.©Dennis Wholey©©Expenditure rises to meet income.©C. Northcote Parkinson©©Experience is a dear teacher, but fools will learn at no other. Benjamin Franklin©©Experience is not what happens to you. It is what you do with what happens to you.©Aldous Huxley©©Experience is the name everyone gives to his mistakes.©Oscar Wilde©©Facts are stubborn things; and whatever may be our wishes, our inclinations, or the dictates of our passions, they cannot alter the state of facts and evidence. John Quincy Adams©©Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.©Aldous Huxley©©Failing doesn't make you a failure. Giving up, accepting your failure, refusing to try again does! Richard Exely©©Failing organisations are usually over-managed and under-led.©Warren G. Bennis©©Failure is only postponed success as long as courage coaches ambition. The habit of persistence is the habit of victory. Herbert Kaufman©©Failure is the opportunity to begin again, more intelligently. Henry Ford©©Faith is the quality that enables you to eat blackberry jam on a picnic without looking to see whether the seeds move.©Anonymous©©Far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though chequered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the grey twilight that knows not victory or defeat Theodore Roosevelt©©©Few rich men own their own property. The property owns them.©Robert Green Ingersoll©©Fidelity purchased with money, money can destroy. Seneca©©Fight for your opinions, but do not believe that they contain the whole truth or the only truth. Charles A. Dana©©Fight organized crime: stamp out the IRS.©Anonymous©©Figures won't lie, but liars will figure. Charles H. Grosvenor©©Find a job you like and you add five days to every week. H. Jackson Brown, Jr.©©Find expression for a sorrow and it will become dear to you. Find expression for a joy, and you will intensify its ecstasy. Anonymous©©Find out what you like doing best and get someone to pay you for doing it.©Katherine Whitehorn©©First love is only a little foolishness and a lot of curiosity: no really self-respecting woman would take advantage of it.©George Bernard Shaw©©Football is the fourth most popular sport in America after American Football, baseball, basketball and ice hockey. Alan Parry©©For centuries, people thought the moon was made of green cheese. Then the astronauts found that the moon is really a big hard rock. That's what happens to cheese when you leave it out. Anonymous©©For seven and a half years I've worked alongside President Reagan. We've had triumphs. Made some mistakes. We've had some sex ...uh...setbacks.©George Bush©©For the hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world.©William Ross Wallace©©For NASA, space is still a high priority. J. Danforth Quayle©©Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names. John F. Kennedy©©Form is transitory, class is permanent. Viv Richards©©Frank doesn't have to fight in January. There are 12 other months in the year.©Mickey Duff©©Frank O'Conner grows on you, like a cancer. Frank O'Conner©©Free people, remember this maxim: we may acquire liberty, but it is never recovered if it is once lost. Jean Jacques Rousseau©©Freedom from the desire for an answer is essential to the understanding of a problem.©J. Krishnamurti©©Freedom is being able to live with the consequences of your decisions.©James X. Mullen©©Friendship is like money, easier made than kept. Samuel Butler©©From each according to his abilities, to each according to his needs. Karl Marx©©From the moment I picked it until the moment I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it. Groucho Marx©©Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something.©Wilson Mizner©©Genius is nothing but a great aptitude for patience.©George-Louis De Buffon©©Genius is one per cent inspiration, ninety-nine per cent perspiration. Thomas Alva Edison©©Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped. Elbert Hubbard©©Get a good idea and stay with it. Dog it, and work at it until it's done right. Walt Disney©©Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please. Mark Twain©©Getting divorced just because you don't love a man is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.©Zsa Zsa Gabor©©Give me control over a nation's currency, and I care not who makes its laws. Mayer Amschel Rothschild©©Give me six lines written by the most honourable of men, and I will find an excuse in them to hang him. Cardinal de Richelieu©©Give us the luxuries of life and we'll dispense with the necessaries.©Oliver Wendell Holmes©©Given a choice between two theories, take the one which is funnier. Anonymous©©Go peacefully amongst the things. Edwina (Eddie) on ABSOLUTELY FABULOUS©©Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company. Mark Twain©©God has been replaced, as he has all over the West, with respectability and air conditioning. Imamu Amiri Baraka©©God, give us grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed, courage to change the things which should be changed, and the wisdom to distinguish the one from the other. Reinhold Niebuhr©©Golf is a good walk spoiled.©Mark Twain©©Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after. Anne Morrow Lindbergh©©Good executives never put off until tomorrow what they can get someone else to do today.©John C. Maxwell©©Good government generally begins in the family, and if the moral character of a people once degenerate, their political character must soon follow. Elias Boudinot©©Good judgement comes from experience, and experience--well, that comes from poor judgement. Anonymous©©Good leaders must first become good servants.©Robert Greenleaf©©Good luck is a lazy man's estimate of a worker's success.©Anonymous©©Good order is the foundation of all things.©Edmund Burke©©Good taste is better than bad taste, but bad taste is better than no taste. Arnold Bennett©©Goodwill and artillery will get you more than goodwill alone anytime.©Anonymous©©Government cannot make us equal; it can only recognise, respect, and protect us as equal before the law. Clarence Thomas©©Government is like a baby. An alimentary canal with a big appetite at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other.©Ronald Reagan©©Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidise it. Ronald Reagan©©Great deeds are usually wrought at great risks.©Herodotus©©Great is the art of beginning, but greater is the art of ending. Henry Wadsworth Longfellow©©Great literature is simply language charged with meaning to the utmost possible degree.©Ezra Pound©©Guidelines for bureaucrats: When in charge; ponder; When in trouble; delegate; When in doubt; mumble.©James H. Boren©©Gun control is hitting your target.©Andrew Beal©©Guns are always the best method for a private suicide. Drugs are too chancy. You might miscalculate the dosage and just have a good time.©P. J. O'Rourke©©Half of the people in the world are below average.©Anonymous©©Happiness is not so much in having as sharing. We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give. Norman MacEwan©©Hardware: The parts of a computer system that can be kicked.©Jeff Pesis©©Hartley's Second Law: Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.©Anonymous©©Hawaii has always been a very pivotal role in the Pacific. It is in the Pacific. It is a part of the United States that is an island that is right here.©J. Danforth Quayle©©Hawaii is a unique state. It is a small state. It is a state that is by itself. It is a - it is different than the other 49 states. Well, all states are different, but it's got a particularly unique situation. J. Danforth Quayle©©He didn't say that. He read what was given to him in a speech.©Richard Darman on George Bush©©Happy campers you have been, happy campers you are, and happy campers you will always be. J. Danforth Quayle©©He does not seem to me to be a free man who does not sometimes do nothing.©Cicero©©He first deceased; She for a little tried. To live without him; Liked it not, and died. Sir Henry Wotton©©He found it inconvenient to be poor.©William Cowper©©He has achieved success who has worked well, laughed often, and loved much. Elbert Hubbard©©He is truly wise who gains wisdom from another's mishap.©Anonymous©©He laughs best who laughs last.©English Proverb©©He that falls in love with himself will have no rivals.©Benjamin Franklin©©He that hath a trade hath an estate; he that hath a calling hath an office of profit and honour.©Benjamin Franklin©©He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever. Chinese proverb©©He who hesitates is not only lost, but miles from the next exit. Anonymous©©He who loses control, loses. Frank Pembleton©©He who opens a school door, closes a prison. Victor Hugo©©He who talks much cannot talk well.©Carlo Goldoni©©He's going to chance his arm with his left foot.©Trevor Brooking©©He's still green behind the ears.©Congressman Cederberg of Michigan referring to a young attorney©©Here lies a man who knew how to enlist the service of better men than himself.©Tombstone of Andrew Carnegie©©Heresy is another word for freedom of thought.©Graham Greene©©Hindsight is always twenty-twenty.©Billy Wilder©©Hindsight is an exact science.©Anonymous©©His doubts are better than most people's certainties.©Earl of Hardwicke©©History is more or less bunk.©Henry Ford©©History is not going to be kind to liberals. With their mindless programs, they've managed to do to Black Americans what slavery, Reconstruction, and rank racism found impossible: destroy their family and work ethic. Walter Williams©©History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree upon.©Napoleon Bonaparte©©History suggests that Capitalism is a necessary condition for political freedom.©Milton Friedman©©History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives.©Abba Eban©©Hitch your wagon to a star.©Ralph Waldo Emerson©©Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom.©Thomas Jefferson©©Hope is a good breakfast, but it is a bad supper. Francis Bacon©©Horses just naturally have mohawk haircuts.©Anonymous©©How can you tell when sour cream goes bad?©Anonymous©©How do you tell a communist? Well, it's someone who reads Marx and Lenin. And how do you tell an anti-Communist? It's someone who understands Marx and Lenin. Ronald Reagan©©How noble the law, in its majestic equality, that both the rich and poor are equally prohibited from peeing in the streets, sleeping under bridges, and stealing bread! Anatole France©©How to store your baby walker: First, remove baby¦. instructions on baby walker©©Humour is the shortest distance between two people.©Victor Borge©©I am a great believer in luck, and I find that the harder I work, the more I have of it. Thomas Jefferson©©I am a jelly doughnut©English translation of John F. Kennedy speaking at the Berlin Wall©©I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.©W.C. Fields©©I am honoured today to begin my first term as the Governor of Baltimore - that is Maryland. William Donald Schaefer, first inaugural address©©I am not part of the problem. I am a Republican.©J. Danforth Quayle©©I am not wanting to make too long speech tonight as I am knowing your old English saying, œEarly to bed and up with the cock. Hungarian diplomat©©I am only one; but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something; I will not refuse to do the something I can do. Helen Keller©©I am providing you with a copulation of answers to several questions raised¦©Marion Barry Jr©©I am ready to meet my maker, but whether my maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter. Sir Winston Churchill©©I am responsible only to God and history.©Francisco Franco©©I am very patriotic. I've committed one crime in my life. John Walker, convicted as a Soviet spy©©I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it.©Garrison Keillor©©I believe in luck: how else can you explain the success of those you dislike?©Jean Cocteau©©I believe in only one thing: liberty; but I do not believe in liberty enough to want to force it upon anyone.©H. L. Mencken©©I believe in unions and I believe in non-unions.©George Bush ©©I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy - but that could change.©J. Danforth Quayle©©I came, I saw, I conquered. Julius Caesar©©I can usually judge a fellow by what he laughs at.©Wilson Mizner©©I cannot be fired. Slaves have to be sold.©Anonymous©©I cannot give you the formula for success, but I can give you the formula for failure - which is: Try to please everybody. Herbert Bayard Swope©©I cannot live without books.©Thomas Jefferson©©I conceive that a knowledge of books is the basis on which all other knowledge rests.©George Washington©©I couldn't find the remote control to the remote control.©Steven Wright©©I couldn't help but be impressed by the magnitude of the earthquake. J. Danforth Quayle, stepping out of the helicopter upon arrival at Alameda Naval Air Station.©©I destroy my enemy when I make him my friend.©Abraham Lincoln©©I did not attend his funeral; but I wrote a nice letter saying I approved of it.©Mark Twain©©I didn't intend for this to take on a political tone. I'm jut here for the drugs.©Nancy Reagan ©©I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it. Francis M. Voltaire©©I do have a political agenda. It's to have as few regulations as possible.©J. Danforth Quayle©©I do not mind lying, but I hate inaccuracy. Samuel Butler©©I do not think that winning is the most important thing. I think it is the only thing.©Bill Veeck©©I don't have to practice what I preach 'cause I'm not the kind of person I'm preaching to!©The Book of The Subgenius©©I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody. Bill Cosby©©I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.©Will Rogers©©I don't believe in quotas. America was founded on a philosophy of individual rights, not group rights. Clarence Thomas©©I don't even know what street Canada is on.©Al Capone©©I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.©Woody Allen©©I either want less corruption, or more chance to participate in it. Ashleigh Brilliant©©I favour the Civil Rights Act of 1964 and it must be enforced at gunpoint if necessary.©Ronald Reagan©©I feel sorry for Cupid's mother. How'd you like to try to toilet-train an armed kid who can fly?©Anonymous©©I forget what I was taught. I only remember what I've learnt.©Patrick White©©I have always thought the actions of men the best interpreters of their thoughts.©John Locke©©I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something. Jackie Mason©©I have found the best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it.©Harry S. Truman©©I have just returned from Boston. It is the only thing to do if you find yourself up there.©Fred Allen©©I have made good judgements in the Past. I have made good judgements in the Future.©J. Danforth Quayle©©I have often regretted my speech, never my silence. Anonymous©©I have one great fear in my heart, that one day when they (the whites of South Africa) have turned to loving, they will find we (the blacks) are turned to hating. Alan Paton©©I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best.©Oscar Wilde©©I have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it on all the beaches of the world... perhaps you've seen it.©Steven Wright©©I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.©Confucius©©I hold it true, whate'er befall; I feel it, when I sorrow most; 'Tis better to have loved and lost Than never to have loved at all. Alfred, Lord Tennyson©©I hope I stand for anti-bigotry, anti-Semitism, anti-racism. This is what drives me. George Bush©©I hope the referee's next crap is a hedgehog.©Mick McCarthy©©I keep seeing lousy films and saying to myself, 'I don't know anything about movie making, but I couldn't do any worse than this'. Stanley Kubrick©©I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones. Albert Einstein©©I know that's a secret, for it's whispered everywhere. William Congreve©©I like a man who grins when he fights.©Sir Winston Churchill ©©I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.©Winston Churchill©©I like the silent church before the service begins, better than any preaching. Ralph Waldo Emerson©©I like thinking big. If you're going to be thinking anything, you might as well think big. Donald Trump©©I like to give home-made gifts. Which one of the kids would you like?©Anonymous©©I love a hand that meets my own with a grasp that causes some sensation.©Samuel Osgood©©I love Americans, but not when they try to talk French. What a blessing it is that they never try to talk English. Saki (H. H. Munro)©©I love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix. J. Danforth Quayle©©I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.©Douglas Adams©©I may argue with my brother, but I fight beside my brother against my cousin, and with my cousin against a stranger. Old Arab adage©©I mean to live my life an obedient man, but obedient to God, subservient to the wisdom of my ancestors; never to the authority of political truths arrived at yesterday at the voting booth. William F. Buckley Jr.©©I never deny, I never contradict. I sometimes forget. Benjamin Disraeli©©I never knew how to worship until I knew how to love.©Henry Ward Beecher©©I never submitted the whole system of my opinions to the creed of any party of men whatever, in religion, in philosophy, in politics or in anything else, where I was capable of thinking for myself. Such an addiction is the last degradation of a free and m Thomas Jefferson©©I never think of the future - it comes soon enough.©Albert Einstein©©I place economy among the first and important virtues, and public debt as the greatest of dangers. To preserve our independence, we must not let our rulers load us with perpetual debt. We must make our choice between economy and liberty, or profusion and Thomas Jefferson©©I pity the man who wants a coat so cheap that the man or woman who produces the cloth will starve in the process.©Benjamin Harrison©©I sincerely believe... that the principle of spending money to be paid by posterity under the name of funding is but swindling futurity on a large scale.©Thomas Jefferson©©I stand by all the misstatements that I've made.©J. Danforth Quayle©©I start with the premise that the function of leadership is to produce more leaders, not more followers. Ralph Nader©©I still miss my ex-wife, but my aim is getting better. Anonymous©©I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.©Anonymous©©I think that people want peace so much that one of these days government had better get out of their way and let them have it.©Dwight D. Eisenhower©©I think that people who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.©Jerry Seinfeld©©I think that, as life is action and passion, it is required of a man that he should share the passion and action of his time at peril of being judged not to have lived. Oliver Wendell Holmes©©I think we have more machinery of government than is necessary, to many parasites living on the labour of the industrious. Thomas Jefferson©©I think, œWhat are those things Christ would want me to do ? Would Christ get on a plane and fly to New York and go on the Phil Donahue Show ? I believe he would, so I go. Richard Viguerie©©I think, therefore I am. Rene Descartes©©I want to make sure everybody who has a job wants a job George Bush, during his first Presidential campaign©©I want to thank each and every one of you for having extinguished yourselves this session.©Gib Lewis©©I want you to take your balls in your hand and bounce them on the floor and then throw them as high as you can. Now, have you all got your balls in your hands ? Announcer of children's radio show Listen With Mother to her audience©©I was going 70 miles an hour and got stopped by a cop who said, Do you know the speed limit is 55 miles per hour? Yes, officer, but I wasn't going to be out that long. Steven Wright©©I was gratified to be able to answer promptly. I said I don't know.©Mark Twain©©I was never less alone than when by myself.©Edward Gibbon©©I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didn't study Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people. J. Danforth Quayle©©I went to the eye doctor and found out I needed glasses for reading. So, I got some flip-up contact lenses. Steven Wright©©I will have no man work for me who has not the capacity to become a partner.©J.C. Penney©©I wish it were possible to obtain a single amendment to our Constitution. I would be willing to depend on that alone for the reduction of the administration of our government; I mean an additional article taking from the Federal Government the power of bo©Thomas Jefferson©©I worked myself up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.©Groucho Marx©©I would bet that the Great San Francisco Glaucoma Epidemic of 1992 will be one for the history books.©Alan Furman©©I would have made a good pope.©Richard Nixon©©I would have voted against the Civil Rights Act of 1964.©Ronald Reagan©©I would like to express my sympathy to all those impacted by this disaster.©J. Danforth Quayle standing in front of the collapsed section of highway caused by the Loma Prieta quake.©©I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than those attending too small a degree of it.©Thomas Jefferson©©I would rather belong to a poor nation that was free than to a rich nation that had ceased to be in love with liberty.©Woodrow Wilson©©I would sooner fail than not be among the greatest.©John Keats©©I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?©Anonymous©©I'd rather live nowhere than in the suburbs of nowhere.©Lara Bliss©©I'll get a life as soon as I can find the FTP site.©Anonymous©©I'm enclosing a few densely written and colourfully printed sheets about the program, as well as a complex application that has brought tears of irritation to many. William Logan©©I'm hard-nosed about luck. I think it sucks. Yeah, if you spend seven years looking for a job as a copywriter, and then one day somebody gives you a job, you can say, ˜Gee, I was lucky I happened to go up there today'. But, dammit, I was going to go up th Jerry Della Femina©©I'm in favour of legalising drugs. According to my values system, if people want to kill themselves, they have every right to do so. Most of the harm that comes from drugs is because they are illegal. Milton Friedman©©I'm not against the blacks and a lot of the good blacks will attest to that. Evan Mecham, then governor of Arizona©©I'm so naïve about finances. Once when my mother mentioned an amount and I realised I didn't understand, she had to explain: œThat's like three Mercedes. Then I understood. Brooke Shields©©I'm the consul for information, but I don't have any information. Ofra Ben Yaacoe©©I've got a mind like a...what's that thing called that you use to strain spaghetti?©Anonymous©©If a man hasn't discovered something he will die for, he isn't fit to live. Martin Luther King Jr.©©If a man who cannot count finds a four-leaf clover, is he lucky? Stanislaw J. Lec©©If a tree falls on a laboratory mouse, does it cause cancer? Anonymous©©If all economists were laid end to end, they would not reach a conclusion. Anonymous©©If all men knew what others say of them, there would not be four friends in the world. Blaise Pascal©©If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail. Anonymous©©If anything goes bad, I did it. If anything goes semi-good, we did it. If anything goes really good, then you did it. That's all it takes to get people to win football games for you. Paul ˜bear' Bryant©©If at first you don't succeed, you're running about average. M.H. Alderson©©If God wanted me to touch my toes, he'd have put them on my knees. Anonymous©©If I ever needed a brain transplant, I'd choose a teenager's because I'd want a brain that had never been used. Anonymous©©If I have a thousand ideas and only one turns out to be good, I am satisfied. Alfred Nobel©©If I listened to Michael Dukakis long enough I would be convinced that we're in an economic downturn and people are homeless and going without food and medical attention and that we've got to do something about the unemployed.©Ronald Reagan©©If ignorance is bliss, why aren't there more happy people? Anonymous©©If it ain't broke, don't fix it. Bert Lance©©If it takes a lot of words to say what you have in mind, give it more thought. Dennis Roch©©If one man can be allowed to determine for himself what is law, every man can. That means first chaos, then tyranny. Legal process is an essential part of the democratic process. Felix Frankfurter©©If people really liked to work, we'd still be plowing the land with sticks and transporting goods on our backs. Eilliam Feather©©If the blind lead the blind, both shall fall into the ditch. Matthew 15:14©©If the car industry behaved like the computer industry over the last 30 years, a Rolls-Royce would cost $5, get 300 miles per gallon, and blow up once a year killing all passengers inside. Anonymous©©If the children are untaught, their ignorance and vices will in future life cost us much dearer in their consequences than it would have done in their correction by a good education. Thomas Jefferson©©If the hours are long enough and the pay is short enough, someone will say it's women's work. Anonymous©©If the human brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn't. Anonymous©©If the odds are a million to one against something occurring, chances are 50-50 it will. Anonymous©©If there is anything better than to be loved it is loving.©Anonymous©©If Thomas Jefferson thought taxation without representation was bad, he should see how it is with representation. Rush Limbaugh©©If we could just get everyone to close their eyes and visualise world peace for an hour, imagine how serene and quiet it would be until the looting started. Anonymous©©If we desire respect for the law, we must first make the law respectable. Louis D. Brandeis©©If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure. J. Danforth Quayle©©If you are never scared or embarrassed or hurt, it means you never take any chances. Julia Sorel©©If you are sure you understand everything that is going on, you are hopelessly confused. Walter Mondale©©If you believe that feeling bad or worrying long enough will change a past or future event, then you are residing on another planet with a different reality system. Anonymous©©If you can count your money you don't have a billion dollars.©J. Paul Getty©©If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen. Harry S. Truman©©If you can't convince them, confuse them. Harry S. Truman©©If you could have a large sum of money, how much would you want? All of it. Cerebus©©If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything to laugh at when you're old. Ed Howe©©If you don't make mistakes, you aren't really trying. Coleman Hawking©©If you hear an onion ring, answer it. Anonymous©©If you judge poeple, you have no time to love them. Mother Teresa©©If you like laws and sausages, you should never watch either one being made. Otto von Bismarck©©If you love something, let it go. If it comes back... it's probably dependent on you. Anonymous©©If you see a snake, just kill it. Don't appoint a committee on snakes. H. Ross Perot©©If you sit down and don't see a fish at the table, the fish is you. Ken Flaton©©If you think education is expensive, try ignorance. Derek Bok©©If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments. Earl Wilson©©If you think you can, you can. And if you think you can't, you're right. Marykay Ash©©If you want to get a good idea, get a lot of ideas. Linus Pauling©©If you want to succeed you should strike out on new paths rather than travel the worn paths of accepted success. John D. Rockefeller, Jr.©©If you want to succeed, double your failure rate. Thomas Watson©©If you were asked a hypothetical question, would you answer it? Anonymous©©If you will tell me why the fen appears impassable, I then will tell you why I think that I can cross it if I try. Marianne Moore©©If you wish to be a success in the world, promise everything, deliver nothing. Napoleon Bonaparte©©If you're not part of the solution, then you're part of the precipitate. Anonymous©©If, after I depart this vale, you ever remember me and have thought to please my ghost, forgive some sinner and wink your eye at some homely girl. H.L. Mencken©©Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.©Robert Orben©©Illegitimacy is something we should talk about in terms of not having it.©J. Danforth Quayle©©Imagination is more important than knowledge, for knowledge is limited while imagination embraces the entire world. Albert Einstein©©If a free society cannot help the many who are poor, it cannot save the few who are rich. John F Kennedy©©If it is to be, it is up to me. Anonymous©©In a hierarchy every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence.©Laurence Peter©©In a survey taken several years ago, all incoming freshman at MIT were asked if they expected to graduate in the top half of their class. Ninety-seven percent responded that they did. Anonymous©©In a way, staring into a computer screen is like staring into an eclipse. It's brilliant and you don't realize the damage until it's too late. Bruce Sterling©©In a world of private property, if something isn't owned by somebody, it's going to be misused by somebody else. Pete Seeger©©In all forms of government the people is the true legislator.©Edmund Burke©©In an Orkin Exterminating Co. survey of what pests Pittsburghers fear most, 1.3% named their spouses and kids. Anonymous©©In any country there must be people who have to die. They are the sacrifices any nation has to make to achieve law and order.©Idi Amin Dada©©In baiting a mouse-trap with cheese, always leave room for the mouse. Saki H. H. Munro©©In California, on time doesn't mean anything at all. An appointment for a meeting at three o'clock on Tuesday indicates that there won't be a meeting and there might not be a Tuesday. Few words and no numbers have any meaning west of the Nevada border. P. J. O'Rourke©©In case of fire, do not use elevator. Water works better. Anonymous©©In cities no one is quiet but many are lonely; in the country, people are quiet but few are lonely. Geoffrey Francis Fisher©©In every country and every age, the priest had been hostile to Liberty. Thomas Jefferson©©In pioneer days they used oxen for heavy pulling, and when one ox couldn't budge a log, they didn't try to grow a larger ox. We shouldn't be trying for bigger computers, but for more systems of computers. Grace Hopper©©In politics stupidity is not a handicap.©Napoleon Bonaparte©©In some cases non-violence requires more militancy than violence.©Cesar Chavez©©In the fight between you and the world, back the world. Franz Kafka©©In the great mass of our people there are plenty individuals of intelligence from among whom leadership can be recruited.©Herbert Hoover©©In the long run we are all dead.©John Maynard Keynes©©In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice, however, there is. Anonymous©©In this theatre of man's life, it is reserved only for God and angels to be lookers-on. Pythagoras©©In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes. Benjamin Franklin©©In time of war the first casualty is truth.©Boake Carter©©In times like these, it is helpful to remember that there have always been times like these. Paul Harvey©©In war there is no substitute for victory.©General Douglas MacArthur©©In years to come the phrase tight as Graham's Arsenal may replace the present colourful colloquialism describing someone reluctant to part with money. Paul Johnson©©Include the success of others in your dreams for your own success.©Anonymous©©Infinite patience brings immediate results.©Wayne Dyer©©Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.©Martin Luther King Jr. ©©Invincibility lies in the defence; the possibility of victory in the attack. One defends when his strength is inadequate; he attacks when it is abundant.©Sun Tzu©©Irrationally held truths may be more harmful than reasoned errors.©T. H. Huxley©©Is not life a hundred times too short for us to bore ourselves?©Friedrich Nietzsche©©Is the glass half empty, half full, or twice as large as it needs to. Anonymous©©Is the word spec short for specification, or for speculation? Anonymous©©Is tired old cliché one? Anonymous©©It behoves every man who values liberty of conscience for himself, to resist invasions of it in the case of others: or their case may, by change of circumstances, become his own. Thomas Jefferson©©It doesn't matter if a cat is black or white, as long as it catches mice. Deng Xiaoping©©It is a bad plan that admits of no modification.©Publiius Syrus©©It is a capital mistake to theorise before one has data.©Arthur Conan Doyle©©It is a good thing for an uneducated man to read books of quotations.©Sir Winston Churchill©©It is a great ability to be able to conceal one's ability.©Ed La Rochfoucould©©It is a sin to believe evil of others, but it is seldom a mistake. H. L. Mencken©©It is always the best policy to tell the truth, unless, of course, you are an exceptionally good liar. Jerome K. Jerome©©It is amazing how much can be accomplished if no one cares who gets the credit.©John Wooden©©It is amazing how much people can get done if they do not worry about who gets the credit.©Sandra Swinney©©It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit.©Harry S. Truman©©It is better to be defeated on principle than to win on lies.©Arthur Calwell©©It is better to be high-spirited even though one makes more mistakes, than to be narrow-minded and all to prudent. Vincent van Gogh©©It is better to die on your feet than to live on your knees!©Emiliano Zapata©©It is better to wear out than to rust out.©Richard Cumberland©©It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both incisive and probing when every twelve minutes one is interrupted by twelve dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper.©Rod Serling©©It is easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them.©Alfred Adler©©It is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from man.©Henry Louis Mencken©©It is good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.©Mark Twain©©It is good to be without vices, but it is not good to be without temptations. Walter Bagehot©©It is incumbent on every generation to pay its own debts as it goes. A principle which if acted on would save one-half the wars of the world.©Thomas Jefferson©©It is much more secure to be feared than to be loved.©Niccolò Machiavelli©©It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare; it is because we do not dare that they are difficult.©Seneca ©©It is not enough for a handful of experts to attempt the solution of a problem, to solve it and then to apply it. The restriction of knowledge to an elite group destroys the spirit of society and leads to its intellectual impoverishment. Albert Einstein©©It is not enough to conquer; one must learn to seduce.©Francis M. Voltaire©©It is not the critic who counts, nor the person who points out how the strong person stumbled or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the person who is actually in the arena; whose face is actually marred by dust and sweat Theodore Roosevelt©©It is not true that life is one damn thing after another...It's one damn thing over and over.©Edna St. Vincent Millay©©It is one of the most beautiful compensations of this life that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself.©Ralph Waldo Emerson©©It is only through labour and painful effort, by grim energy and resolute courage, that we move on to better things. Theodore Roosevelt©©It is only when they go wrong that machines remind you how powerful they are.©Clive James©©It is said that God is always on the side of the heaviest battalions.©Francis M. Voltaire©©It is the fight alone that pleases us, not the victory. Blaise Pascal©©It is the mark of an inexperienced man not to believe in luck.©Joseph Conrad©©It is the spirit and not the form of law that keeps justice alive.©Justice Earl Warren©©It is true that liberty is precious - so precious that it must be rationed.©Nikolai Lenin©©It is well that war is so terrible, or we should get too fond of it. Robert E. Lee©©It is what you learn after you know it all that counts.©John Wooden©©It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.©J. Danforth Quayle©©It isn't the fact that the cats like to hang around while sex is going on that annoys me: it's those little score cards they hold up afterwards.©Folo©©It isn't the incompetent who destroys an organisation. The incompetent never gets in a position to destroy it. It is those who have achieved something and want to rest upon their achievements who are forever clogging things up.©F.M. Young©©It isn't the people you fire who make your life miserable, it's the people you don't. Harvey Mackay©©It isn't what they say about you, it's what they whisper. Errol Flynn©©It may be that our role on this planet is not to worship God--but to create him.©Arthur C. Clarke©©It may be that your whole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.©Anonymous©©It sure would be nice if we got a day off for the president's birthday, like they do for the Queen. Of course, then we would have a lot of people voting for a candidate born on July 3 or December 26, just for the long weekends. Anonymous©©It takes a virile man to make a chicken pregnant. Perdue chicken ad, as mistranslated abroad©©It takes 20 years to make an overnight success.©Eddie Cantor©©It was one of the things I was always going to take care of, but sometimes I did not find all the funds available or I did not have all the documents and other materials I needed. David Dinkins©©It was only after their population of fifty mysteriously shrank to eight that the other seven dwarfs began to suspect Hungry.©Anonymous©©It would appear that we have reached the limits of what it is possible to achieve with computer technology, although one should be careful with such statements, as they tend to sound pretty silly in 5 years. John Von Neumann©©It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it. Anonymous©©It's a great advantage to be able to hurdle with both legs.©David Coleman©©It's a tale of two systems, John, and both exactly the same. Mark Laurenson, Radio 5 Live©©It's a very valuable function and requirement that you're performing, so have a great day and keep a stiff upper lip. J. Danforth Quayle speaking to oil spill clean-up workers at Prince William Sound©©It's a well known fact that computing devices such as the abacus were invented thousands of years ago. But it's not well known that the first use of a common computer protocol occurred in the Old Testament. This, of course, was when Moses aborted the Egy Anonymous©©It's bad manners to apply cosmetics in public. It reminds people you need them...©P.J. O'Rourke©©It's deja vu all over again.©Yogi Berra©©It's evolution, innit ? If you swim a lot you get webbed feet, if you bowl a lot you get a knackered shoulder. Phil Tufnell©©It's great to be great but it's greater to be human.©William Rogers©©It's hard to make a program foolproof because fools are so ingenious.©Anonymous©©It's hard to seize the day when you first have to grapple with the morning.©Anonymous©©It's national clean-off-your-desk day. I think I found Elvis.©Anonymous©©It's not that I object to people re-inventing the wheel; what gets to me is watching them re-invent the flat tire.©Todric©©It's not what we don't know that hurts us, it's what we know for sure that just ain't so. Mark Twain©©It's not your blue blood, your pedigree or your college degree. It's what you do with your life that counts. Millard Fuller©©It's the good girls who keep diaries; the bad girls never have the time.©Tallulah Bankhead©©It's the good loser who finally loses out.©Kin Hubbard©©[It's] time for the human race to enter the solar system.©J. Danforth Quayle©©It's tough to make predictions, especially about the future. Anonymous©©It's what you learn after you know it all that counts.©Earl Weaver©©Jaw, jaw is better than war, war. Winston Churchill©©Jenny kissed me when we met, Jumping from the chair she sat in, Time you thief, who love to get, Sweets into your list, you put in, Say you're weary, say you're sad, Say that health and wealth have missed me, Say I'm growing old, but add Jenny kissed me. Leigh Hunt©©John Barrymore: you should play Hamlet. Jimmy Durante: To hell with them small towns. I'll stick to New York.©©©John Hollins has a very strong wife. It might have been better if I'd made her manager.©Ken Bates©©Just because your doctor has a name for your condition doesn't mean he knows what it is.©Anonymous©©Justice is incidental to law and order.©J. Edgar Hoover©©Keep a stiff upper chin.©Samuel Goldwyn©©Keep your head and your heart going in the right direction and you will not have to worry about your feet.©Anonymous©©Kites rise highest against the wind; not with it.©Sir Winston Churchill©©Knock, Knock. Who's there? Opportunity. Don't be silly - opportunity doesn't knock twice! Anonymous©©Labour is man's greatest function. He is nothing, he can do nothing, he can achieve nothing, he can fulfil nothing, without working. Orville Dewey©©Lack of will power has caused more failure than lack of intelligence or ability.©Flower A. Newhouse©©Language has created the word loneliness to express the pain of being alone, and the word solitude to express the glory of being alone. Paul Tillich©©Language is a city to the building of which every human being brought a stone.©Ralph Waldo Emerson©©Language is only the instrument of science, and words are but the signs of ideas. Samuel Johnson©©Language is the armoury of the human mind, and at once contains the trophies of its past and the weapons of its future conquests. Samuel Taylor Coleridge©©Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.©Oliver Wendell Holmes©©Language is the dress of thought.©Samuel Johnson©©Last night I dreamed I had insomnia. I woke up exhausted, yet too well rested to go back to sleep. Bob Ingman©©Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face.©Victor Hugo©©Laughter is the tonic, the relief, the surcease for pain. Charlie Chaplin©©Laws that do not embody public opinion can never be enforced.©Elbert Hubbard©©Laws were made to be broken.©Christopher North©©Lead me, follow me, or get out of my way. General George S. Patton©©Lead us not into temptation. Just tell us where it is; we'll find it.©Sam Levenson©©Leaders get out in front and stay there by raising the standards by which they judge themselves - and by which they are willing to be judged.©Fredrick Smith©©Leaders who win the respect of others are the ones who deliver more than they promise, not the ones who promise more than they can deliver. Mark A. Clement©©Leadership is influence.©John C. Maxwell©©Leadership is the other side of the coin of loneliness, and he who is a leader must always act alone. And acting alone, accept everything alone. Ferdinand Edralin Marcos©©Leadership: The art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it.©Dwight D. Eisenhower©©Learn and think imperially.©Joseph Chamberlian©©Learn to say ˜no' to the good so you can say ˜yes' to the best.©John C. Maxwell©©Legislators represent people, not trees or acres. Legislators are elected by voters, not farms or cities or economic interests. Earl Warren©©Leisure is a beautiful garment, but it will not do for constant wear. Anonymous©©Leisure is the mother of philosophy.©Thomas Hobbes©©Leisure time is that five or six hours when you sleep at night.©George Allen©©Let every nation know, whether it wishes us well or ill, that we shall pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe to assure the survival and the success of liberty. John Fitzgerald Kennedy©©Let me just tell you how thrilling it really is, and how, what a challenge it is, because in 1988 the question is whether we're going forward to tomorrow or whether we're going to go past to the to the back! J. Danfroth Quayle©©Let me tell you the secret that has led me to my goal: my strength lies solely in my tenacity.©Louis Pasteur©©Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed.©Mark Twain©©Let us so live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.©Mark Twain©©Liberty can not be preserved without a general knowledge among the people.©John Adams©©Liberty consists in wholesome restraint.©Daniel Webster©©Liberty doesn't work as well in practice as it does in speeches.©Will Rogers©©Liberty is always dangerous, but it is the safest thing we have. Harry Emerson Fosdick©©Liberty is the only thing you can't have unless you give it to others.©William Allen White©©Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it.©George Bernard Shaw©©Liberty, not communism, is the most contagious force in the world. Earl Warren©©Life is 10% what you make it, and 90% how you take it. Irving Berlin©©Life is a continuous exercise in creative problem solving.©Michael J. Gelb©©Life is a dead-end street.©H. L. Mencken©©Life is a series of little deaths out of which life always returns. Charles Feidelson, Jr.©©Life is a tragedy for those who feel, and a comedy for those who think. Jean de La Bruyère©©Life is just one damned thing after another.©Elbert Hubbard©©Life is like a cash register, in that every account, every thought, every deed, like every sale, is registered and recorded. Fulton J. Sheen©©Life is not lost by dying; life is lost minute by minute, day by dragging day, in all the thousand small uncaring ways. Stephen Vincent Benét©©Life is not worth living unless you have a choice of all the gloriously unhygienic things that mankind - especially the French portion of it - has lovingly created.©HRH Prince Charles ©©Life is the acceptance of responsibilities or their evasion, it is a business of meeting obligations or avoiding them. To every man the choice is continually being offered, and by the manner of his choosing you may fairly measure him. Ben Ames Williams©©Life is the art of drawing sufficient conclusions from insufficient premises.©Samuel Butler©©Life is the childhood of our immortality.©Johann Wolfgang von Goethe©©Life is the continuous adjustment of internal relations to external relations.©Herbert Spencer©©Life must be lived as play.©Plato©©Life was simple before World War II. After that, we had systems. Grace Hopper©©Life, we learn too late, is in the living, the tissue of every day and hour. Stephen Butler Leacock©©Life would be so much easier if everyone read the manual.©Anonymous©©Light is the first of painters. There is no object so foul that intense light will not make it beautiful.©Ralph Waldo Emerson©©Light is the symbol of truth.©James Russell Lowell©©Like winter snow on summer lawn, time past is time gone. Anonymous©©Literature is mostly about having sex and not much about having children. Life is the other way round.©David Lodge©©Literature is news that stays news.©Ezra Pound©©Literature is the art of writing something that will be read twice.©Cyril Connolly©©Literature is the immortality of speech.©August Wilhelm von Schlegel©©Literature is the orchestration of platitudes.©Thornton Wilder©©Live the questions.©Rilke©©Logic is neither a science nor an art, but a dodge. Benjamin Jowett©©Logic is the anatomy of thought.©John Locke©©Logic is the art of going wrong with confidence.©Joseph Wood Krutch©©Logic, like whiskey, loses its beneficial effect when taken in too large quantities. Lord Dunsany©©Logic: an instrument used for bolstering a prejudice.©Elbert Hubbard©©Looking for enlightenment is like looking for a flashlight when all you need the flashlight for is to find the flashlight.©Lew Welch©©Loquacity and lying are cousins.©German Proverb©©Lord, give me the courage to change what I can, the wisdom to accept that which I cannot change, and the heavy artillery to make up the difference. Patrick L. Humphrey©©Lose an hour in the morning, and you will spend all day looking for it. Richard Whately©©Love built on beauty, soon as beauty, dies. John Donne©©Love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction.©Antoine de Saint-Exupéry©©Love gives itself; it is not bought.©Henry Wadsworth Longfellow©©Love is a canvas furnished by Nature and embroidered by imagination.©Francis M. Voltaire©©Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra. Suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night the ice weasels come. Friedrich Nietzsche©©Love is, above all, the gift of oneself. Jean Anouilh©©Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit. Peter Ustinov©©Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke.©Lynda Barry©©Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.©Robert Frost©©Love is not blind - it sees more, not less. But because it sees more, it is willing to see less. Rabbi Julius Gordon©©Love is the difficult realization that something other than oneself is real.©Iris Murdoch©©Love is only the dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species.©W. Somerset Maugham©©Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.©H. L. Mencken©©Love is the word used to label the sexual excitement of the young, the habituation of the middle-aged, and the mutual dependence of the old. John Ciardi©©Love: the delusion that one woman differs from another.©H. L. Mencken©©Love's like the measles, all the worse when it comes late. Douglas Jerrold©©Loyalty ... is a realisation that America was born of revolt, flourished in dissent, became great through experimentation. Henry S. Commager©©Loyalty means nothing unless it has at its heart the absolute principle of self-sacrifice.©Woodrow Wilson©©Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul.©Mark Twain©©Luck is the residue of design.©Branch Rickey©©Luxury is the first, second and third cause of the ruin of republics. It is the vampire which soothes us into a fatal slumber while it sucks the lifeblood of our veins. Edward Payson©©Luxury may possibly contribute to give bread to the poor; but if there were no luxury, there would be no poor. Henry Home©©Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.©Anonymous©©Make voyages! Attempt them...there's nothing else.©Tennessee Williams©©Man does not live by words alone, despite the fact that sometimes he has to eat them. Adlai Stevenson©©Man is not logical and his intellectual history is a record of mental reserves and compromises. He hangs on to what he can in his old beliefs even when he is compelled to surrender their logical basis.©John Dewey©©Man is the only animal that blushes - or needs to.©Mark Twain©©Man will occasionally stumble over the truth, but most times he will pick himself up and carry on. Sir Winston Churchill©©Man's mind, once stretched by a new idea, never regains its original dimension. Oliver Wendell Holmes©©Mankind must put an end to war, or war will put an end to mankind. John F. Kennedy©©Many times I find myself in a comfortable position - and I don't feel happy about it. It is...an enormous desire to go further, to travel beyond my own limits. Ayrton Senna©©Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two. Ambrose Bierce©©Mars is essentially in the same orbit... Mars is somewhat the same distance from the Sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures where there are canals, we believe, and water. If there is water, that means there is oxygen. If oxygen, that means we J. Danforth Quayle©©Mathematics is a game with rules and no objectives.©Anonymous©©©May fortune favour the foolish. ©Captain James T. Kirk©©May our nation continue to be the beakon of hope to the world. The Quayles' 1989 Christmas card.[Not a beacon of literacy, though.]©©May you live all the days of your life.©Jonathan Swift ©©Maybe this world is another planet's Hell.©Aldous Huxley©©Meat is murder. Fish is justifiable ichthyocide. Ken Johnson, presumably a vegetarian©©Mediocrity knows nothing higher than itself, but talent instantly recognises genius. Sir Arthur Conan Doyle©©Men and women, women and men. It will never work. Erica Jong©©Men are apt to mistake the strength of their feeling for the strength of their argument. Men give me credit for some genius. All the genius I have lies in this; when I have a subject in hand, I study it profoundly. Day and night it is before me. My mind b Alexander Hamilton©©Men are like wine - some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age. Pope John XXIII©©Men show their character in nothing more clearly than by what they think laughable.©Johann Wolfgang von Goethe©©Men use thought only as authority for their injustice, and employ speech only to conceal their thoughts. Francis M. Francis M. Voltaire©©Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.©Susan Ertz©©Minds are like parachutes - they only function when open.©Anonymous©©Mistakes are often the stepping stones to utter failure.©Anonymous©©Mistress (n): something which fits between a mister and a mattress.©Joe Lewis ©©Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons. Woody Allen©©More irregular verbs: I address the issues, you launch ad-homonym attacks, he's a flaming maniac and should have his access pulled. Dani Zweig©©Mortal as I am, I know that I am born for a day. But, when I follow at my leisure the serried multitude of the stars in their circular course, my feet no longer touch the ground. Ptolemy©©Most human beings have an almost infinite capacity for taking things for granted.©Aldous Huxley©©Most of the luxuries, and many of the so-called comforts of life, are not only indispensable, but positive hindrances to the elevation of mankind. Henry David Thoreau©©Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.©Abraham Lincoln©©Most people who succeed n the face of seemingly impossible conditions are people who simply don't know how to quit.©Robert Schuller©©Most rock journalism is people who can't write interviewing people who can't talk for people who can't read.©Frank Zappa©©Mr. Churchill, if you were my husband, I'd poison your tea! And if you were my wife, I would drink it! Sir Winston Churchill©©Mr. Churchill, you're drunk! Yes, I am; and you are ugly. But tomorrow, I shall be sober. Sir Winston Churchill©©Mr. Hussein, do you think it was wise to go to war with pilots who have played Nintendo for seven years? Dick Locher©©Murphy Brown is doing better than I am. At least she knows she still has a job next year.©J. Danforth Quayle©©My country right or wrong; when right, to keep her right; when wrong, to put her right. Carl Schurz©©My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby. Sometimes she has to cancel the rest of the afternoon's appointments. Steven Wright©©My desk is not messy! It's just decaying into a lower energy level faster than everyone else's.©Anonymous©©My fellow Americans, I am pleased to tell you I've just signed legislation which outlaws Russia. The bombing begins in five minutes. Ronald Reagan©©My good friend Trevor Brookly...©Pele©©My horse was in the lead coming down the homestretch, when the caddie had to fall off. Samuel Goldwyn©©My house is made out of balsa wood, so when I want to scare the neighborhood kids I lift it over my head and tell them to get out of my yard or I'll throw it at them. Steven Wright©©My pessimism goes to the point of suspecting the sincerity of the pessimists.©Jean Rostand©©Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power. Abraham Lincoln©©Nearly everyone is in favour of going to heaven but too many are hoping they'll live long enough to see an easing of the entrance requirements.©Anonymous©©Necessity is the mother of invention.©Plato©©Negotiation may cost far less than war, or infinitely more: for war cannot cost more than one's life. Klingon Proverb©©Never appeal to a man's better nature. he might not have one. Anonymous©©Never argue with a fool - people might not know the difference.©Anonymous©©Never ascribe to malice that which can adequately be explained by stupidity.©Anonymous©©Never chase a lie. Let it alone, and it will run itself to death. I can work out a good character much faster than anyone can lie me out of it. Lyman Beecher©©Never do today what you can put off till tomorrow.©Mathew Browne©©Never explain. Your friends do not need it and your enemies will not believe you anyway.©Elbert Hubbard©©Never fight an inanimate object.©P. J. O'Rourke©©Never hate you enemies, it affects you judgement. Michael Corleone©©Never have sex with anyone in the office. Always wait until you get home.©Anonymous©©Never judge a book by its movie.©J.W. Eagan©©Never play cards with a man called Doc. Never eat at a place called Mom's. Never sleep with a woman whose troubles are worse than your own.©Nelson Algren©©Never put off until tomorrow what you can put off indefinitely.©Anonymous©©Never sign a contract with someone whom you need to sign a contract with, but sign a contract anyhow. Anonymous©©Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity.©General George S. Patton©©Next to being shot at and missed, nothing is really quite as satisfying as an income tax refund. F. J. Raymond©©Nice guys finish last.©Manager of Brooklyn Dodgers©©Nil Carborundum Illegitimi.©Anonymous©©Nixon has been sitting in the White House while George McGovern has been exposing himself to the people of the United States. Frank Licht, then governor of Rhode Island, campaigning for McGovern in 1972©©No arsenal or no weapon in the arsenals of the world is so formidable as the will and moral courage of free men and women.©Ronald Reagan©©No evil is without its compensation. The less money, the less trouble; the less favour, the less envy. Even in those cases which put us out of wits, it is not the loss itself, but the estimate of the loss that troubles us. Seneca©©No fool can be silent at a feast.©Solon©©No good deed goes unpunished.©Clare Boothe Luce©©No great artist ever sees things as they really are. If he did he would cease to be an artist.©Oscar Wilde©©No law can be sacred to me but that of my nature.©Ralph Waldo Emerson©©No legacy is so rich as honesty.©William Shakespeare©©No man is rich enough to buy back his past.©Oscar Wilde©©No man knows what true happiness is until he gets married. By then, of course, its too late. Anonymous©©No man means all he says, and yet very few say all they mean, for words are slippery and thought is viscous. Henry Brooke Adams©©No man will make a great leader who wants to do it all himself, or to get all the credit for doing it. Andrew Carnegie©©No man's life, liberty or property are safe while the Legislature is in session. Gideon J. Tucker©©No matter how far you have gone on the wrong road, turn back. Turkish proverb©©No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.©Eleanor Roosevelt©©No one ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.©H. L. Mencken©©No one gossips about other people's secret virtues.©Bertrand Russell©©No person was ever honoured for what he received. Honour has been the reward for what he gave.©Calvin Coolidge©©Nobody believes the official spokesman... but everybody trusts an unidentified source.©Ron Nesen©©Nobody can be so amusingly arrogant as a young man who has just discovered an old idea and thinks it is his own.©Sydney Harris©©Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.©Joe Theismann©©Nobody trips over mountains. It is the small pebble that causes you to stumble. Pass all the pebbles in your path and you will find you have crossed the mountain.©Anonymous©©None are innocent. There are only those weak enough to believe they are, And those strong enough to revel in the knowledge they are not. Anonymous©©Normal is...spending all day in a sick building with windows that don't open and a thermostat that is seasonally dysfunctional in order to make the environment consistently comfy and user-friendly for the mainframe computer.©Ellen Goodman©©Not where I breathe, but where I love, I live; Not where I love, but where I am, I die. Robert Southwell©©Note: I think it's interesting that of my five children both my fifteen year old daughter and her sixteen year old brother independently chose this as their favourite.©Anonymous©©Nothing arouses more hope than the first four hours of a diet.©Anonymous©©Nothing gives one person so much advantage over another as to remain always cool and unruffled under all circumstances.©Thomas Jefferson©©Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.©Ralph Waldo Emerson ©©Nothing great will ever be achieved without great men, and men are great only if they are determined to be so. Charles DeGaulle©©Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.©Martin Luther King©©Nothing is built on stone; all is built on sand, but we must build as if the sand were stone. Jorge Luis Borges©©Nothing is more common than unfulfilled potential.©Howard Hendricks©©Nothing is more conducive to peace of mind than not having any opinions at all.©Georg Christoph Lichtenberg©©Nothing is particularly hard if you divide it into small jobs.©Henry Ford©©Nothing is so admirable in politics as a short memory.©John Kenneth Galbraith©©Nothing is so aggravating than calmness.©Oscar Wilde ©©Nothing is sufficient for the person who finds sufficiency too little.©Epicurus©©Nothing like faecal incontinence to clear a room.©Anonymous©©Nowadays, when opportunity knocks, you have to unlock both deadbolts, remove the chain, and turn off the burglar alarm... Anonymous©©Now and then an innocent man is sent to the legislature.©Kin Hubbard©©Now, like, I'm President. It would be pretty hard for some drug guy to come into the White House and start offering it up, you know? ... I bet if they did, I hope I would say, 'Hey, get lost. We don't want any of that.' George Bush, talking about drug abuse to a group of students©©Now we are trying to get unemployment to go up and I think we're going to succeed. Ronald ReaganO Lord, help me to be pure, but not yet.©©Objects in mirror are closer than they appear.©Anonymous©©Obstacles are things a person sees when he takes his eyes off his goal.©E. Joseph Cossman©©Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off the goal.©Hannah More©©Obviously I didn't do better than last year. But I equalled it, which is good as doing better. Colin Montgomerie©©Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most. Anonymous©©Of course the US Constitution isn't perfect, but it's a lot better than what we have now. Anonymous©©Often, when I am reading a good book, I stop and thank my teacher. That is, I used to, until she got an unlisted number. Anonymous©©Okay, our focus: Are babies bing Bred for Satanic Sacrifice ? Controversial to say the least. Unbelievable to say the least. Disgusting to say the least. We'll be rifht back ! Geraldo Rivera©©Oh! A wondrous bird is the Pelican ! His beak holds more than his belican. He stores in his beak, Food enough for a week, But I'll be darned if I know how the helican. Dixon Larnier Merritt©©Oh, and here comes Caddick to bowl again from the pavilion end again... well, I don't suppose he'll mind if I read the scores between his balls. Henry Blofeld, BBC Radio©©Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song, A medley of extemporanea; And love is a thing that can never go wrong; And I am Marie of Roumania. Dorothy Parker©©On behalf of all of you, I want to express my appreciation for this tremendously warm recession. Ron Brown©©On the Continent people have good food; in England people have good table manners.©George Mikes©©On the edge of destiny, you must test your strength. Billy Bishop©©On the soft bed of luxury most kingdoms have expired.©Edward Young©©On the whole human beings want to be good, but not to good and not quite all the time. George Orwell©©One does not discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.©André Gide©©One essential to success is that you desire be an all-obsessing one, your thoughts and aims be co-ordinated, and your energy be concentrated and applied without letup. Anonymous©©One horse-laugh is worth ten thousand syllogisms. It is not only more effective; it is also vastly more intelligent.©H. L. Mencken©©One lives in the hope of becoming a memory.©Antonio Porchia©©One man with courage makes a majority. ©Andrew Jackson©©One of the great arts of escaping superfluous uneasiness is to free our minds from the habit of comparing our conditions with those of life are more bountifully bestowed.©Anonymous©©One of the greatest pieces of economic wisdom is to know what you do not know.©John Kenneth Galbraith©©One of the pleasantest things in the world is going on a journey; but I like to go by myself.©William Hazlitt©©One ought to have a good memory when he has told a lie.©Corneille©©One should dies proudly when it is no longer possible to live proudly.©Friedrich Nietzsche©©One sometimes finds advice about life in the oddest places. I saw a plastic bag the other day that warned me To avoid danger of suffocation, keep away from babies and small children. And they always seemed so cute and harmless! Fred Wamsley©©One was never married, and that's his hell; another is, and that's his plague. Robert Burton©©One word sums up probably the responsibility of any vice president, and that one word is 'to be prepared'. J. Danforth Quayle©©Only aim to do your duty, and mankind will give you credit where you fail. Thomas Jefferson©©Only the winners decide what were war crimes.©Gary Wills©©Only those things are beautiful which are inspired by madness and written by reason.©©André Gide©©Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.©Robert F. Kennedy©©Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.©T.S. Eliot©©Opinions founded on prejudice are always sustained with the greatest violence.©Hebrew Proverb©©Opportunity does not knock, it presents itself when you beat down the door. Kyle Chandler©©Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls, and looks like work. Thomas A. Edison©©Order your summer suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.©Sign in tailors©©Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.©Laurance Peter©©Ossie said he was the man he wanted. I don't remember him from the World Cup but I am sure he impressed me.©Alan Sugar©©Our high respect for a well-read man is praise enough of literature.©Ralph Waldo Emerson©©Our progress as a nation can be no swifter than our progress in education.©John F. Kennedy©©Ours is a world of nuclear giants and ethical infants. If we continue to develop our technology without wisdom or prudence, our servant may prove to be our executioner. General Omar Bradley©©Over-seriousness is a warning sign for mediocrity and bureaucratic thinking. People who are seriously committed to mastery and high performance are secure enough to lighten up.©Michael J. Gelb©©Patience and fortitude conquer all things.©Ralph Waldo Emerson©©Patriotism is the last refuge of the scoundrel.©Samuel Johnson©©Peace: In international affairs, a period of cheating between two periods of fighting. Anonymous©©Peace is never a wall that separates, it is a bridge which unites. Dr. George Carey©©People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges.©Joseph F. Newton©©People buy into the leader before they buy into the vision.©John C. Maxwell©©People don't ask for facts in making up their minds. They would rather have one good, soul-satisfying emotion than a dozen facts. Robert Keith Leavitt©©People need religion. It's a vehicle for a moral tradition. A crucial role. Nothing can take its place.©Irving Kristol©©People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on history.©J. Danforth Quayle©©People seldom know what they want until you give them what they ask for.©Anonymous©©People who are against seats bemoan the lack of singing at Highbury but I remember 0-0 draws under Don Howe when there wasn't much singing either.©Boyd Hilton©©People who cannot recognise a palpable absurdity are very much in the way of civilisation.©Agnes Repplier©©People who know little are usually great talkers, while men who know much say little. Jean Jacques Rousseau©©People with narrow minds usually have broad tongues.©Anonymous©©Pepsi brings your ancestors back from the grave. Ad slogan Pepsi Comes Alive as originally translated into Chinese©©Perhaps it is better to be irresponsible and right than to be responsible and wrong. ©Winston Churchill©©Petty laws breed great crimes.©Ouida©©Philosophy is a game with objectives and no rules. Mathematics is a game with rules and no objectives.©Anonymous©©Physics isn't a religion. If it were, we'd have a much easier time raising money. Leon Lederman©©Pick battles big enough to matter, small enough to win. Jonathan Kozol©©Plain women know more about men than beautiful ones do. But beautiful women don't need to know about men. It's the men who have to know about beautiful women.©Katherine Hepburn©©Plants do not have the power of locomotion except perhaps for kudzu.©Anonymous©©Please don't ask me what the score is, I'm not even sure what the game is. Ashleigh Brilliant©©Please provide the date of your death.©IRS form.©©Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build bridges even when there are no rivers.©Nikita Khruschev©©Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book. Ronald Reagan©©Politics is not the art of the possible. It consists in choosing between the disastrous and the unpalatable.©John Kenneth Galbraith©©Politics is war without bloodshed while war is politics with bloodshed.©Mao Zedong©©Politics would be a helluva good business if it weren't for the goddamned people.©Richard Nixon©©Possessions, outward success, publicity, luxury--to me these have always been contemptible. I believe that a simple and unassuming manner of life is best for every one, best for both the body and the mind. Albert Einstein©©Power always has to be kept in check; power exercised in secret, especially under the cloak of national security, is doubly dangerous. William Proxmire©©Power tends to corrupt and absolute power corrupts absolutely.©Lord Acton©©Practical people would be more practical if they would take a little more time for dreaming.©J.P. McEvoy©©Practice is the best of all instructors.©Publilius Syrus©©Prefer a loss to a dishonest gain; the one brings pain at the moment, the other for all time. Chilton©©Professor Anthony Clare: You were an only child. Do you know why? Uri Geller: My parents didn't have any other children.©©©Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning. Rich Cook©©Proper behavior means always giving the appearance of unperturbed grace. This appearance is much easier to achieve if you really don't care about anything. This is why people always seem to be on their best behavior right before they commit suicide...©Anonymous©©Prosperity is a great teacher; adversity a greater.©William Hazlitt©©Prudence which degenerates into timidity is very seldom the path to safety.©Viscount Cecil©©Public office is the last refuge of a scoundrel.©Boies Penrose©©Public speaking is very easy.©J. Danforth Quayle©©Put not your trust in princes, bureaucrats or generals, they will plead expedience while spilling your blood from a safe distance. Niccolò Machiavelli©©Put two or three men in positions of conflicting authority. This will force them to work at loggerheads, allowing you to be the ultimate arbiter. Franklin D. Roosevelt©©Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity. Albert Einstein©©Psychiatrists say that one out of four people is mentally ill. Check three friends; if they're OK, you're it. Anonymous©©Q: How do you spell onomatopoeia? A: The way it sounds. Anonymous©©Q: What do you get when you cross an Ethernet with an income statement? A: A local area networth.©Anonymous©©©Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teaches our children. J. Danforth Quayle©©Razors pain you; Rivers are damp; Acids stain you; Drugs cause cramp; Guns aren't lawful; Nooses give; Gas smells awful; You may as well live.©Dorothy Parker©©Religious Views of Life: Taoism: Shit happens. Confucianism: Confucius say, shit happens. Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn't really shit. Zen: What is the sound of shit happening ? Hinduism: This shit happened before. Islam: If shit happens, it is the w Anonymous©©Re: Neil Gaiman, and Modern Comics The word `masturbate' was censored out of one of the stories. He said Karen Berger told him, `It is official policy. People don't masturbate in the DC universe.' To which Neil replied, `That's why they all wear funny co©©Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself. Mark Twain©©Reading maketh a full man, conference a ready man, and writing an exact man. Anonymous©©Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance.©Confucius©©Real poverty is less a state of income than a state of mind.©George Gilder©©Reason has moons, but moons not hers lie mirrored on her sea confounding her astronomers, but oh, delighting me. Anonymous©©Reason often makes mistakes, but conscience never does. Josh Billings©©Religion is a defense against the experience of God.©Carl Jung©©Religion... is the opium of the masses.©Karl Marx©©Republican parents have no problem buying their kids toy guns. Democrats refuse to do so. That is why their kids pretend to shoot each other with dolls.©John Carlson©©Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child.© J. Danforth Quayle©©Results! Why, man, I have gotten a lot of results. I know several thousand things that won't work. Thomas A. Edison©©Retraction: The 'Greek Special' is a huge 18 inch pizza and not a huge 18 inch penis, as described in an add. Blondie's Pizza would like to apologise for any confusion Friday's ad may have caused. Correction printed in The Daily Californian©©Rewards and punishments are the lowest form of education.©Chuang-Tzu©©Rome was not implemented in a day.©Anonymous©©Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme Anonymous©©Saint Valentine was martyred, after all. Probably by single people. Karen Norteman©©School is where you go between when your parents can't take you and industry can't take you.©John Updike©©Science may have found a cure for most evils; but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all - the apathy of human beings.©Helen Keller©©Service to others is the rent you pay for your room here on earth.©Muhammad Ali©©Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won't either. Joseph Fischer©©Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go it's one of the best. Woody Allen©©Shake off all the fears of servile prejudices, under which weak minds are servility crouched. Fix reason firmly in her seat, and call on her tribunal for every fact, every opinion. Question with boldness even the existence of a God; because, if there be o Thomas Jefferson©©Shallow men believe in luck. Strong men believe in cause and effect.©Ralph Waldo Emerson©©Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss it you will land among the stars.©Les Brown ©©Show me a thoroughly satisfied man, and I will show you a failure. Thomas A. Edison©©Simply the thing I am shall make me live.©William Shakespeare©©Sin has many tools, but a lie is the handle that fits them all. Oliver Wendell Holmes©©Since when was a genius found respectable ?©Elizabeth Barret Browning©©˜Sir, are you going to fire the employee who made a mistake that cost the company $600,000?' No, I just spent $600,000 training him. Why would I want fire somebody with his experience? Tom Watson©©Skiing: the art of catching cold and going broke while rapidly heading nowhere at great personal risk.©Anonymous©©Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.©Fletcher Knebel©©So little done, so much to do. Cecil Rhodes©©So unlucky that he runs into accidents which started out to happen to somebody else.©Don Marquis©©Some call it evolution. And others call it God.©William H. Carruth©©Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them. Joseph Heller©©Some men see things as they are and say why? I dream things that never were and say Why not? Robert F. Kennedy©©Some people make things happen, some watch while things happen, and some wonder 'What happened?' Anonymous©©Some people march to the beat of a different drummer. And some people tango!©Anonymous©©Somehow liberals have been unable to acquire from birth what conservatives seem to be endowed with at birth: namely, a healthy scepticism of the powers of government to do good. Daniel Moynihan©©Something told Dorothy she wasn't in Kansas anymore. Maybe it was the colour of the sky; maybe it was the smell in the air; maybe it was the road sign that said, Welcome to Missouri. Anonymous©©Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.©Sigmund Freud©©Sometimes democracy must be bathed in blood.©Augusto Pinochet©©Sorry, but my karma just ran over your dogma. Anonymous©©Speaking much is a sign of vanity, for he that is lavish with words is a niggard in deed. Sir Walter Raleigh©©Spoken language is merely a series of squeaks.©Alfred North Whitehead©©Standing in the middle of the road is very dangerous; you get knocked down by traffic from both sides.©Margaret Thatcher©©Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.©W.C. Fields ©©Statistics are like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital. Aaron Levenstein©©Status quo. Latin for the mess we're in. Anonymous©©Strength is a matter of the made-up mind.©John Beecher©©Strength lies not in defence but in attack.©Adolf Hitler©©Success does not consist in never making mistakes but in never making the same one a second time.©George Bernard Shaw©©Success in marriage is not so much finding the right person as it is being the right person.©Anonymous©©Success is the sole earthly judge of right and wrong.©Adolf Hitler©©Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.©Abraham Lincoln©©Take a breath, Al... Inhale. J. Danforth Quayle politely cutting off Senator Al Gore during the VP Debate in Atlanta©©Take your life in your own hands and what happens? A terrible thing: no one to blame.©Erica Jong ©©Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.©Euripides©©Teenagers are people who express a burning desire to be different by dressing exactly alike.©Anonymous©©Television - a medium. So called because it is neither rare nor well-done.©Ernie Kovacs©©Television is the first truly democratic culture - the first culture available to everybody and entirely governed by what the people want. the most terrifying thing is what people do want.©Clive Barnes©©Ten people who speak make more noise than ten thousand who are silent.©Napoleon Bonaparte©©That government is best which governs least.©Henry David Thoreau©©That government is best which governs the least, because its people discipline themselves. Thomas Jefferson©©That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind. Neil Armstrong©©The academic community has in it the biggest concentration of alarmists, cranks and extremists this side of the giggle house. William F. Buckley Jr.©©The advertisement is the most truthful part of a newspaper.©Thomas Jefferson©©The American people would not want to know of any misquotes that J. Danforth Quayle may or may not make.©J. Danforth Quayle©©The art of becoming wise is the art of knowing what to overlook.©William James©©The avalanche has already started, it is too late for the pebbles to vote. Ambassador Kosh Naranek of the Vorlon Empire, Babylon 5©©The basic difference between an ordinary person and a warrior is that a warrior takes everything as a challenge while an ordinary person takes everything as a blessing or a curse.©Carlos Castaneda©©The basic fact about human existence is not that it is a tragedy, but that it is a bore. Henry Louis Mencken©©The best executive is the one who has sense enough to pick good men to do what he wants done, and self-restraint enough to keep from meddling with them while they do it. Theodore Roosevelt©©The best is the enemy of the good.©Francis M. Voltaire©©The best use of life is to spend it for something that outlasts life.©William James©©The best way to get a bad law repealed is to enforce it strictly.©Abraham Lincoln©©The Bible is not my book, and Christianity is not my religion. I could never give assent to the long, complicated statements of Christian dogma. Abraham Lincoln©©The big majority of Americans, who are comparatively well off, have developed an ability to have enclaves of people living in the greatest misery without almost noticing them. Gunnar Myrdal©©The breakfast of champions is not cereal, it's the opposition. Nick Seitz©©The brighter you are, the more you have to learn. Don Herold©©The camera cannot lie. But it can be an accessory to untruth.©Harold Evans©©The car has become an item of dress without which we feel uncertain, unclad, and incomplete in the urban compound. Marshall McLuhan©©The caribou love it. They rub against it and they have babies. There are more caribou in Alaska than you can shake a stick at. George Bush, on the Alaska pipeline©©The case has been going on for so long that I've forgotten whether I'm really innocent or guilty.©Ashleigh Brilliant©©The Cavaliers (Wrong but Wromantic); the Roundheads (Right but Repulsive).©W.C.Sellar & R.J.Yeatman©©The cheerful loser is the winner.©Elbert Hubbard©©The chief product of an automated society is a widespread and deepening sense of boredom.©Cyril Parkinson©©The cook was a good cook, as cooks go; and as good cooks go, she went. Saki H. H. Munro©©The couple of times I've played with cornettos, the finger holes seemed completely irrelevant to what note came out the end. Bill Sommerfeld©©The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.©Ellen Parr©©The danger from computers is not that they will eventually get as smart as men, but that we will meanwhile agree to meet them halfway. Bernard Avishai©©The death of democracy is not likely to be an assassination from ambush. It will be a slow extinction from apathy, indifference, and under-nourishment. Robert Hutchins©©The decline of literature indicates the decline of a nation.©Johann Wolfgang von Goethe©©The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated.©William James©©The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather a lack of will. Vince Lombardi©©The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.©Woody Allen©©The destruction, it is just very heart-rendering. J. Danforth Quayle attempting to say the SF earthquake wreckage was heart-rending©©The doer alone learneth.©Friedrich Nietzsche©©The dwarf sees further than the giant, when he has the giant's shoulder to mount. S. T. Coleridge©©The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun.©R. Buckminster Fuller©©The end of labour is to gain leisure.©Aristotle©©The English are a different race. They are never beaten because of their indestructible belief in their own superiority.©Giampiero Boniperti©©The English country gentleman galloping after a fox - the unspeakable in full pursuit of the uneatable.©Oscar Wilde©©The extreme always seems to make an impression.©Heathers©©The farther back you can look, the farther forward you are likely to see. Winston Churchill©©The fewer the facts, the stronger the opinion. Arnold H. Glasow©©The final test of a leader is that he leaves behind him in other men the conviction and the will to carry on.©Walter Lippmann©©The first duty of a revolutionary is to get away with it.©Abbie Hoffman©©The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents, and the second half by our children. Clarence Darrow©©The first sign of a nervous breakdown is when you start thinking your work is terribly important.©Milo Bloom©©The fruit derived from labour is the sweetest of all pleasures.©Luc de Clapiers©©The future is like heaven - everyone exalts it, but no one wants to go there now. James Baldwin©©The future will be better tomorrow.©J. Danforth Quayle©©The genius of the American system is that through freedom we have created extraordinary results from plain ordinary people.©Senator Phil Gramm©©The goal of science is to build better mousetraps. The goal of nature is to build better mice.©Anonymous©©The golden rule is that there are no golden rules.©George Bernard Shaw©©The great masses of the people... will more easily fall victims to a big lie than to a small one.©Adolf Hitler©©The greater the power, the more dangerous the abuse. Edmund Burke©©The greatest mistake you can make is to be continually fearing you will make one.©Elbert Hubbard©©The greatest part of our happiness depends on our dispositions, not our circumstances. Martha Washington©©The greatest threat towards future is indifference.©Anonymous©©The harder you work, the luckier you get. Gary Player©©The hardest of all is learning to be a well of affection, and not a fountain, to show them that we love them, not when we feel like it, but when they do. Nan Fairbrother©©The heated mind resents the chill touch and relentless scrutiny of logic.©William E Gladstone©©The high cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.©Anonymous©©The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history. But we all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century.©J. Danforth Quayle©©The human mind ordinarily operates at only ten percent of its capacity. The rest is overhead for the operating system.©Anonymous©©The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter. Mark Twain©©The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television.©Anonymous©©The hunger for love is much more difficult to remove than the hunger for bread.©Mother Teresa©©The idea that 'the public interest' supersedes private interests and rights can have but one meaning: that the interests and rights of some individuals take precedence over the interests and rights of others.©Ayn Rand©©The illegal we do immediately. The unconstitutional takes a little longer.©Henry Kissinger©©The imaginary friends I had as a kid dropped me because their friends thought I didn't exist.©Aaron Machado©©The important thing is not to stop questioning.©Albert Einstein©©The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing of miseries.©Sir Winston Churchill©©The injury to a man, must be such, that we need not fear his Vengeance. Niccolo Machiavelli©©The invariable mark of wisdom is to see the miraculous in the common.©Ralph Waldo Emerson©©The issue of race could benefit from a period of benign neglect.©Daniel Moynihan©©The key to successful leadership today is influence, not authority. Kenneth Blanchard©©The law is not a light for you or any man to see by; the law is not an instrument of any kind. The law is a causeway upon which so long as he keeps to it a citizen may walk safely. Robert Bolt©©The lawgiver, of all beings, most owes the law allegiance. He of all men should behave as though the law compelled him. But it is the universal weakness of mankind that what we are given to administer we presently imagine we own. Herbert George Wells©©The liar's punishment is not in the least that he is not believed, but that he cannot believe anyone else. George Bernard Shaw©©The life of every man is a diary in which he means to write one story, and writes another. James Matthew Barrie©©The light at the end of the tunnel is usually a No Exit sign. Anonymous©©The little I know, I owe to my ignorance. Sacha Guitry©©The longer I live, the more convincing proofs I see of this truth: that God governs in the affairs of men. And if a sparrow cannot fall to the ground without His notice, is it probable that an empire can rise without his aid? Benjamin Franklin©©The longer you stay in the mall, the longer your children will have to listen to holiday songs on the mall public-address system, and many of these songs can damage children emotionally. For example: Frosty the Snowman is about a snowman who befriends Dave Barry©©The Lord's Prayer is 66 words, the Gettysburg Address is 286 words, and there are 1,322 words in the Declaration of Independence. Yet, government regulations on the sale of cabbage total 26,911 words. David McIntosh©©The loss of life will be irreplaceable.©J. Danforth Quayle (after the San Francisco earthquake)©©The Loyalists say they won't just lie down and walk away. Dennis Murray, BBC1©©The man who gets the most satisfactory results is not always the man with the most brilliant single mind, but rather the man who can best co-ordinate the brains and talents of his associates. W. Alton Jones©©The man who is denied the opportunity of taking decisions of importance begins to regard as important the decisions he is allowed to take.©C. Northcote Parkinson©©The man who reads nothing at all is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers.©Thomas Jefferson©©The man who strikes first admits that his ideas have given out.©Chinese Proverb©©The measure of a man is what he does with power.©Pittacus©©The mind has its own logic but does not often let others in on it.©Bernard de Voto©©The missus says that if someone in the street doesn't recognise me, I go back and tell them who I am. Ron Atkinson©©The modern conservative is engaged in one of man's oldest exercises in moral philosophy; that is, the search for a superior moral justification for selfishness. John Kenneth Galbraith©©The more sins you confess, the more books you will sell. Anonymous©©The more things a man is ashamed of, the more respectable he is. George Bernard Shaw©©The most important persuasion tool you have in your entire arsenal is integrity.©Zig Ziglar©©The most important single ingredient in the formula of success is knowing how to get along with people.©Theodore Roosevelt©©The most important thing about having goals is having one.©Geoffrey F. Abert©©The most important things to do in the world are to get something to eat, something to drink and somebody to love you. Brandan Behan©©The most incomprehensible thing about the world is that it is comprehensible.©Albert Einstein©©The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents. Nathaniel Borenstein©©The most successful politician is he who says what everybody is thinking most often and in the loudest voice.©Theodore Roosevelt©©The most thoroughly wasted of all days is that on which one has not laughed.©Anonymous©©The nation will find it very hard to look up to the leaders who are keeping their ears to the ground.©Winston Churchill©©The National Debt is a very Good Thing and to pay it off would be dangerous, for fear of Political Economy. W. C. Sellar & R. J. Yeatman©©The news is the one thing the networks can point to with pride. Everything else they do is crap - and they know it.©Fred Friendly©©The nice thing about standards is, there are so many to choose from. Anonymous©©The number you have dialled is imaginary. Please divide by 0 and try again.©Anonymous©©The office of government is not to confer happiness, but to give men the opportunity to work out happiness for themselves. W. E. Channing©©The older I grow the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.©H. L. Mencken©©The one who says it cannot be done should never interrupt the one who is doing it.©Anonymous©©The only difference between me and a madman is that I am not mad.©Salvador Dali©©The only modest thing about Chris Eubank is his talent.©Simon Barnes©©The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary.©Donald Kendall©©The only reason we're seven-and-oh is because is because we've won all seven of our games.©Dave Garcia©©The only sure thing about luck is that it will change.©Wilson Mizner©©The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.©Franklin D. Roosevelt©©The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you are in the bathroom.©Anonymous©©The optimist proclaims we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true.©James Branch Cabell©©The optimist thinks that this is the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist knows it. J. Robert Oppenheimer©©The other day, I was walking my dog around my building... on the ledge. Some people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths. Steven Wright©©The paper burns, but the words fly away. Ben Joseph Akiba©©The past is a foreign country: they do things differently there.©L. P. Hartley©©The pendulum of the mind alternates between sense and nonsense, not between right and wrong. Carl Jung©©The philosophy exam was a piece of cake - which was a bit of a surprise, actually, because I was expecting some questions on a sheet of paper. Anonymous©©œThe predicate here is more openness, asserted a White House official who asked not to be identified. Anonymous White House official©©The President is going to benefit from me reporting directly to him when I arrive.©J. Danforth Quayle speaking to oil spill clean-up workers at Prince William Sound©©The price of greatness is responsibility.©Sir Winston Churchill©©The price works so well, so efficiently, that we are not aware of it most of the time. Milton Friedman©©The principal fact of life is, of course, death. Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective... P.J. O'Rourke©©The purpose of time is to keep everything from happening at once. It's not working.©Anonymous©©The pursuit of perfection, then, is the pursuit of sweetness and light. Matthew Arnold©©The quality of a person's life is in direct proportion to their commitment to excellence, regardless of their chosen field of endeavour. Vince Lombardi©©The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.©E. W. Dijkstra©©The quickest and shortest way to crush whatever laurels you have won is for you to rest on them.©Donald P. Jones©©©The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.©George Bernard Shaw©©The relationship between commitment and doubt is by no means an antagonistic one. Commitment is healthiest when it not without doubt but in spite of doubt.©Rollo May ©©The release of atomic energy has not created a new problem. It has merely made more urgent the necessity of solving an existing one.©Albert Einstein©©The reward of a thing well done is to have it done.©Ralph Waldo Emerson©©The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously.©Hubert H. Humphrey©©The road to success is always under construction.©Jim Miller©©The salary of the chief executive of the large corporation is not a market award for achievement. It is frequently in the nature of a warm personal gesture by the individual to himself.©Professor J.K.Galbraith©©The scientists split the atom; now the atom is splitting us.©Quentin Reynolds©©The secret of success is constancy to purpose.©Benjamin Franklin©©The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you've got it made.©Jean Giraudoux©©The shortest way to do many things is to do only one thing at once.©Samuel Smiles©©The speed of time is one second per second.©Anonymous©©The spirit of resistance to government is so valuable on certain occasions that I wish it to be always kept alive.©Thomas Jefferson©©The sports page records people's accomplishments; The front page nothing but their failures.©Jutice Earl Warren©©The streets are safe in Philadelphia, it's only the people who make them unsafe. Frank Rizzo©©The strongest man in the world is he who stands alone.©Henrik Ibsen©©The successful revolutionary is a statesman, the unsuccessful one a criminal. Erich Fromm©©The sun got confused about daylight savings time. It rose twice. Everything had two shadows.©Steven Wright©©The superfluous, a very necessary thing. Francis M. Voltaire©©The